Today, according to my husband, our son is at the difficult age where he can finally speak fluent English, but is still too childishly dumb to say anything interesting, intelligent or frankly worth listening to at all. There are times I wish I was a divorced single mum. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife is mad at me for discouraging our son from baby talking. He's seven, well past the age where exaggerated mush-mouth baby talk is cute. It's grating and off-putting to see him rolling on the floor going, "Me luh mummuh and daddeh" when he's a perfectly smart, well adjusted kid. FML
Today, my son is smarter than average, almost genius level, and he has now reached an age where not only does he question me at every turn, he actually out-argues me 90% of the time and I can’t do anything about it because technically he’s right and I’m wrong. FML
Today, I realized that over 20 years ago I married a man who could never mature, after we had a marital argument and he couldn't just have an one side, but rather decided to involve our 11 year-old old son, allowing him to repeat his words toward me, like "bitch", "whore", and "cunt." FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, my son confessed to me that the reason he'd rather die single is because my husband and I are so toxic to each other, as we end up arguing over even petty things, yet we still refuse to divorce after 30 years. Therefore, we're to blame for "leaving him traumatized and terrified of marrying". He is 22. FML
Today, it's been thirteen years since I divorced my husband for being too hard on our son. Since then, he's remarried and had two beautiful, well-behaved kids. My son, meanwhile, is a thieving hellion who doesn't care about anything but himself, and my ex wants nothing to do with him. FML
Today, instead of being an adult, my husband was more hysterical than my daughter during a hissy fit. It makes me want to divorce him. FML
Today, after I can't count how many times, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to break MORE things in our home, because I asked him not to let our son speak to me rudely. His response, "He said 'OK' so you should have shut up." Basically, he's raising my kid to treat me like he does. FML
Today, I overheard my son tell his dad that he’s in love. Without pause, my husband told him it’s temporary, it won’t last, relationships are pointless, women only cause grief, and money in the bank keeps a man warm at night better than any woman with cold feet. I’m trying not to feel insulted. FML
Today, we went to couples' counselling. After a while the therapist said to me, “Madam, since we've started, your husband has managed two full sentences without you interrupting him, and most of what you said was, frankly, childish whining.” I'm starting to realise I might be the problem. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
I'd have to agree that little kid talk is not very interesting or intelligent, but it's so unpredictable, it's often hilarious!!
jbuckets_404 39
Sounds like your husband has your kid's speaking traits mixed up with his own....
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
I'd have to agree that little kid talk is not very interesting or intelligent, but it's so unpredictable, it's often hilarious!!
jbuckets_404 39
Sounds like your husband has your kid's speaking traits mixed up with his own....
awildwhisper 30
Hmm I have to agree with the husband on this one. They're cute, but they're not smart.
faifai_fml 21
I agree with the dad. Not every kid is immediately engrossing as soon as they begin to speak.
CA91 9
I would become a divorced single mum :(
dragonladiesfire 19
Does he still listen or communicate with your child to help the child? Does he teach him things? or is he not doing anything to help and is just being an ass? If he's not doing anything to help, then that's on him too.
cranjuice 2
Then you go out there and become the divorced single mom of your dreams!