Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML
Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
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Top comments
coffeefiend 0
Haha. So your dad likes mom over easy?
thikimo 0
mmm yummy
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Comments (110)
brieebeear 0
it's gonna be okay . it's natural ! you should talk to them about it . obviously they should be able to have an open talk with you dice they were spanking eachother with you in the house
greenpeace121234_fml 0
lmao fyl
monica73 0
yuurr daadd juuss wantedd suumm kutty lol .
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
0.o That's all I've got to say.
asherah14 7
Oh poor OP. Like it's really so hard to wash the spatula before cooking your eggs in the morning. I don't understand how some FML stories get posted when they are really not anything to FYL or ruin your day.
SkoomaKi 28
How do you like your eggs in the morning... I like mine with a spank!
DrkBeauty 12
maybe they're upset you use up so many eggs
Gourd_Cousin 3
is my thought too evil？
TheRealStunts 27
Fml trolls be like: YDI for eating eggs
Dannie1308 11
Yeah, soap and water can do great things....