Today, I came home to the nanny passed out on the couch from too much alcohol, my 2-year-old alone and locked in the bathroom, and my house in a complete wreck. To top it off, it's the day my mother-in-law, who hates me, is coming to visit from New York. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa, and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Today, and since we've had our baby, my mother-in-law started coming round more often, then bringing her stuff to stay overnight, then started claiming she lived here, and got hysterical when we told her she doesn’t. I had to pick her up and place her outside while she punched me in the head repeatedly. FML
Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML
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Top comments
mamamiaaa_fml 12
Call the popo on the nanny for child endangerment who cares about the mother-in-law in a situation like this?
itsmygoodlife 4
Wow. Great nanny.
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Comments (155)
Clamcreepy 7
Well there goes that bitch bonus
BlanketHogger 0
Someone's not getting a promotion...
ellakacyme22 6
Make sure the child is ok then call the police to come wake up nanny and stop fussing about the MIL
bizarre_ftw 22
Why wake up the nanny? Stick her in a squad car, then a cell, and let her wake up and freak out
rhyleigh 1
Mil is the least of your problems.
Schiffy 18
follow these steps: 1. Check to make sure the kid's OK. 2. Clean. 3. Wake up the nanny. 4. Fire the nanny. 5. Fire your mother-in-law. (If only that last one were possible)
jake98899889 4
No, **** her up with a baseball bat!
taytay7878 0
Awww that sucks
greentiger 5
Time for a new nanny? Yes.
happilyever2012 6
Well, someone's head is next to the chopping block.
HolaJessicaHola 0
Be careful about who u let watch ur kids! I hope u can fix ur house in time, bc crazy mother in laws prolly won't believe ur story :/
yazzy101 11
Dude you need to fire that nanny and file charges agains her too! So other people can't make the same mistake about hiring her!