Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, after suffering probably my worst night of appendicitis, which consisted of vomiting, diarrhea, and going to the doctor, starving, only to find out a couple of hours later in the hospital ER that I'm allergic to penicillin and close to dying. Again. FML
Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear. It hurts so badly that I'm practically in tears. Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed. Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up. FML
Today, I'm recovering from a urinary tract infection. The infection made me have to pee constantly. Now the antibiotics I'm taking for it are giving me the shits instead. FML
Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns, and it hurts to sit. FML
Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML
Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. I happen to be allergic to all types of pain medication. FML
Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
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Top comments
drakem 7
aw that sucks
OnlyAvailableID 28
That's gotta be painful. FYL, OP, quite unfortunate series of events.
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Comments (142)
drakem 7
aw that sucks
fishertruck 0
I'm sorry op fyl
iTaylor 0
oh poop.
nikkidancer321 0
that's the worst. sorry op
drakem 7
I see what you did thar.
woopsy 0
im srry! but on the bright side ... the surgery went well!!!
TransitionCovery 0
Drink some Yakult.
quent10 0
EEEEeeeeyyyulllllllz
the4starr 3
6- no offence but your profile looks a bit like you're doing a poop.. :S just thought it was funny
fable_fayebee 0
Sounds like you have a crappy life
chenoa_fml 0
ughh hives are sooo uncomfortable, I've felt your pain. that's how I learned I am allergic to penicillin when I was elementary school age :D
iTaylor 0
oh sure, 18, no offense taken
Slappyzezima 0
18 is probably 10 years old and laughes whenever his friends make poop jokes on the playground. or Dan Nickerson.
allenrotstein 0
**** this! We don't need this many details...
A_50cal_goes 0
BOOM Headshot!!!
rkcraig53 0
Quit already! Nobody wants to know about you BM FAIL!
2kool4skoolyo 0
I thought that girls don't poop. something smells fishy ...
DarkHelmet 10
Yeah reading that just made me feel a shit load better about my day which until 2 mins ago I thought was bad. Thanks OP...and yes FYL
homicidaltendenc_fml 0
Yea I agree...no one wants to hear this. And iTaylor is hot, don't make fun of her haha.
imonaboat79 2
terrible, fyl fo sho.
mini8_fml 0
@18 first of all.. it doesnt look like she is pooping.. and i really hope thats not how you poop! if it is so, then you seriously need some potty training!!
coolsteve 0
pics of your lady parts or it didn't happen
kruzito 0
eat mexican food
mona_is_here 10
64 is a WIN:)
riceplum 0
try taking the buttplug out xD
skroal 7
No "shit" you didn't poop. Women don't poop.
Baker_FoCo 0
Hopefully it won't turn out like that anal part in Zack and Miri. *shudder*
Lopop72 0
Fj?
luckytexan 8
wow, fyl for sure!
STr8_CaLi_d0p3 4
74- I wish I had a joint like that!!
jjpavo 0
GIRLS DONT POOP (sarcasm)
Bag3l 0
I see what u did there 9. YDI for not eating your ******* veggies.
kelzen 0
lolololololol rofl hehehehorse
NoFatAssOnaStick 0
I once had the same, but if you can still write a FML you're not even halfway of the pain. oh and eat kiwi's
OnlyAvailableID 28
That's gotta be painful. FYL, OP, quite unfortunate series of events.
zavala96 0
OP-that doesn't happen to pretty girl only to fugly girls
ZeroIce 12
lol love the picture -2
Vanbilsen 4
cool story bro but still that sucks
yolie_fml 0
How awful! :(
NFL333 0
my perscription anal sex
coolsteve 0
brilliant
acrostice 0
10 win
TheAwkwardTurtle 0
hahaha nasty! fyl op
Becks3_fml 0
yes yes!!
triggerit 5
poor girl without right to poop
aliyah26 0
what a mess it's goin to be when u regulate
SeedlessMe 13
Wow. That really is Terrible! I'm so sorry girl-- Sleep it off, it's pretty much all you can do.. :(
WiseGuy79 14
Lol @ 10 Op try eating at McDonalds it's better than any laxative out there lol
ScaryyMary 14
Don't you mean Taco Bell?
WiseGuy79 14
Yeah Taco Bell would be better lol You think they have them in Japan?
ScaryyMary 14
Since it's in Japan... old sushi might be a better option.
craphappened 4
lots of wasabi. Plus Nato. Which is fermented beans, for those who don't know.
BigBagel 0
eat mos burger people in japan won't know what u mean by taco bell. Tako? ok! you'll end up not getting taco bell
cadillacgal79 32
actually 50 I've never gotten gassy from eating Taco Bell, I guess some people handle their food differently.
bobulant 0
FYL.. Try some Epsom salts dissolved in warm water. Salty..but effective.