Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML
Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML
Today, I arrived home, having just had my long hair cut and my beard shaved. My idiot daughter’s reaction when she saw me? “Who are you and how did you get in the house?” FML
Today, after a week out of town, I came home to discover my front door unlocked. I was greeted by a reeking old lady and her gorging obese middle-aged daughter with a "Who the fuck are you?" and "What are you doing in my son's house?" Said son is the former owner, from whom I legally bought this house four years ago. FML
Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer, and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML
Today, I was home alone, wearing my comfiest pajamas and watching Netflix, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to find my parents standing there. They had just driven four hours to surprise me. My hair was a mess, my face was bare, and I looked like a living disaster. "We just wanted to see how you’re doing!" they said. FML
Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML
Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML
Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
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Top comments
AmyBeth 0
Wtf ?!
NGM_47 0
I wonder what you guys talked about after that, it must have been reeeeaaaaally awkward =/
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Comments (163)
kayLatta 0
18th Your dad sounds like a pretty cool person
lilmisslovely13 15
actually ur 17th. haha loser
beardo8 0
The most common non-latex condoms are made from polyurethane. Condoms may also be made from other synthetic materials, such as AT-10 resin, and most recently polyisoprene.[31] Polyurethane condoms tend to be the same width and thickness as latex condoms, with most polyurethane condoms between 0.04 mm and 0.07 mm thick.[32] Polyurethane is also the material of many female condoms. Polyurethane can be considered better than latex in several ways: it conducts heat better than latex, is not as sensitive to temperature and ultraviolet light (and so has less rigid storage requirements and a longer shelf life), can be used with oil-based lubricants, is less allergenic than latex, and does not have an odor.[33] Polyurethane condoms have gained FDA approval for sale in the United States as an effective method of contraception and HIV prevention, and under laboratory conditions have been shown to be just as effective as latex for these purposes.[34] However, polyurethane condoms are less elastic than latex ones, and may be more likely to slip or break than latex,[33][35] and are more expensive. Polyisoprene is a synthetic version of natural rubber latex. While significantly more expensive,[36] it has the advantages of latex (such as being softer and more elastic than polyurethane condoms)[31] without the protein which is responsible for latex allergies.[36]
exit_arsenic 0
that IS rather awkward, given all the social embarrassment that it might cause. but it's his life, not yours, so even though it's very much an FYL, let him be.
LittleMel4 0
it is really sad how close minded people are. I am very lucky to live in a community that excepts any form of transgenderism whether; transsexual, cross dresser, androgynous, bi gender, gender queer, butch, transvestite. It is sad that people think it is "disgusting" that someone is different. This is why there are so many hate crimes against transgendered people because of ignorant asshats who think gender is binary. I hope some day you will see the error of your ways.
heyimallison 0
but come on. if your dad showed up completely dressed as a girl , you'd be like 'OH HEY DAD WHAT'S UP?'
lmmmr 0
Who cares?
Unregistered 0
Oh and excepts? I guess the community you live in also has low education funds.
AAAAHHHH12 2
Ow ow! Hot mama! Daddy in dress FTW!! Ha ha
raspygirl 12
What's ftw?
kelsey_drives 0
ouch. that really sucks!
unluckiestperson_fml 14
OMG!
ohnoyouDINT 0
so did you hit it? tell the truth...