Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML
Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML
Today, I arrived home, having just had my long hair cut and my beard shaved. My idiot daughter’s reaction when she saw me? “Who are you and how did you get in the house?” FML
Today, after a week out of town, I came home to discover my front door unlocked. I was greeted by a reeking old lady and her gorging obese middle-aged daughter with a "Who the fuck are you?" and "What are you doing in my son's house?" Said son is the former owner, from whom I legally bought this house four years ago. FML
Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer, and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML
Today, I was home alone, wearing my comfiest pajamas and watching Netflix, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to find my parents standing there. They had just driven four hours to surprise me. My hair was a mess, my face was bare, and I looked like a living disaster. "We just wanted to see how you’re doing!" they said. FML
Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML
Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML
Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
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Top comments
AmyBeth 0
Wtf ?!
NGM_47 0
I wonder what you guys talked about after that, it must have been reeeeaaaaally awkward =/
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Comments (163)
candii_fml 0
aaawwwkwaaaaaaaardddddddddd ♪♫
Lolbrittany 0
LMFAO.
MicMic_fml 7
Didn't know FML has emoticons.. :o
ReportAbuse 0
YDI for being a ******.
Vagrarian 2
I don't have a problem with dad being a cross-dresser, but I do think the OP's in for some very awkward conversations with his parents, and he's learned some stuff that he'd rather not know, so yeah, FYL in that respect.
memyselfand 0
Ydi for being a peeping tom at ur own house
kc2_fml 0
is your dad a twink or something? cause I don't think you could mistake a man in a dress for a women
epicFAIL_Sometim 0
cross dresser alert! man the harpoons!
crazycontagious 0
That's awkward... I would never be able to look my father in the face without feeling weird ever again... FYL OP.
ohnoyouDINT 0
Unlike God, I do not hate gays/trans/etc...but, I have to admit it'd be a bit unnerving to find out that bit of personal info about my pops....I mean it kinda gave me a pretty squicky feeling when I found out about his BBW obsession, I can only imagine.
madasahatter 0
Hahaha just like Ed Wood! "I thought you were a fag" "No, no! I'm just a transvestite!"
generalsmith2 0
wtf? God doesn't hate gays/trans/etc/... educate yourself before making statements as facts.
elara15 0
God as written in the Bible does not hate gays. Following the same ancient standards, you could argue that the Christian God still hates rape victims. Just as warnings against eating shellfish and being in the same room as a menstruating woman were a response to the hygiene of the times, admonishments against homosexuality (and wanting to stone rape victims to death, if their father wasn't paid a fine by the rapist for spoiling his "property") were just a response to securing proper male heirs and procreation at any cost. Thanks for trying to be openminded, though.
generalsmith2 0
God as written in the Christian Bible does not hate gays. If you read the Bible it says He is a God of love. He hates the wrong people do, but not the people themselves. There is a difference.
superfiedman 0
hey man, once again, i'm gonna say it . I don't think it's disgusting, I don't think it's weird, that was just a really disturbing way to find out and was probably not the best way. keep in mind i was hungover. i promise i'm not a nazi.
dramakat11 0
It's understandable that you would find it disturbing because of the social norms we are raised with in this society. Men in drag make me do a double take too. As long as you accept him for who he is you are a good son. :-) I was more upset with the people going "OMG, I could never look my dad in the face again," and stuff like that.
hottiegurl 0
Yes. That is why I am a lady! :)
jet_fml 0
I can understand this, definitely. :) I was actually about to post pretty much the same thing.
ohnoyouDINT 0
God also hates trolls and gullible retards. See you in hell, 57, 59, and 66.
Weil 0
A BBW fetish is FAR worse than crossdressing. ******* chubby chasers.
elara15 0
Even a joke deserves to be addressed.
Ranoona 0
D: