Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML
Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML
Today, I arrived home, having just had my long hair cut and my beard shaved. My idiot daughter’s reaction when she saw me? “Who are you and how did you get in the house?” FML
Today, after a week out of town, I came home to discover my front door unlocked. I was greeted by a reeking old lady and her gorging obese middle-aged daughter with a "Who the fuck are you?" and "What are you doing in my son's house?" Said son is the former owner, from whom I legally bought this house four years ago. FML
Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer, and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML
Today, I was home alone, wearing my comfiest pajamas and watching Netflix, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to find my parents standing there. They had just driven four hours to surprise me. My hair was a mess, my face was bare, and I looked like a living disaster. "We just wanted to see how you’re doing!" they said. FML
Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML
Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML
Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AmyBeth 0
Wtf ?!
NGM_47 0
I wonder what you guys talked about after that, it must have been reeeeaaaaally awkward =/
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (163)
plasticballoon 0
and exactly what about your dad beeing trans is a problem? he just likes to wear a dress! it's really not a big deal. hes not cheating or anyting, just finding plessure in wearing pretty clothes. a bit akward, yes, but definetly not fml
plasticballoon 0
acctually, if you disrespect crossdressers you totally deserve to have your dad doing it XD
InspiredByGaGa 8
That is NOT an FML, unless your father is visiting you at school dressed like that or pretending to be a prostitute that you ordered on craigslist.
maree_fml 0
repeat, get a new fml this was posted about a week ago zzzzzz
youdidwhatnow 0
Did he look pretty?
ClaraLewy 0
WTF
Mr_Alarm 12
WTF? Am I seriously the only one that thinks it's weird as shit and that I would probably crap my pants (figuratively, of course) if this happened to me? Seriously, I'm not sure why political correctness has suddenly been raised to such an extreme level, but IMO crossdressing is completely abnormal and shouldn't be considered socially acceptable by any means. Seriously, pretending you're the other sex? That could lead to a lot of trouble, and I'm sure that if we're all honest, this isn't something that "regular", and I use the term loosely, people should be forced to witness. Anyone care to explain all the defensiveness?
mista_smitty 0
last
dallasbracken 0
holy shit.
ooooooooooooh 4