Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML
Today, after spending 2 years growing out my hair, rubbing in oils to make it strong and healthy so I could shave it off and donate to a cancer charity to make wigs, I had a mishap at work with a car's cracked petrol tank. I now have 2nd degree facial burns and like 90% of the hair is burned away. FML
Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
Today, I was fired from my job because I would "scare" the customers. Two days ago, a coworker spilled fry oil onto the grill, causing flames to singe my eyebrows and the front of my hair off. FML
Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML
Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
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Top comments
toxicsauce 10
At least you've got people telling you you're hot. I'm not even close to that... Lmao
sweetest_jenn 18
Everyone knows the best breasts are deep fried.
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Comments (73)
ileenefudge 29
AmexBlack 24
Is it just me that imagined OP as 'The Human Torch' or 'Johnny Storm' from Fantastic Four after reading about her co-workers singing 'this girl is on fire'? I can imagine OP responding with 'FLAME ON!! Woohoo! Yeah, I'm too hot to handle!' ;)
annunaki_fml 11
hahahahaha
catanita 18
Hope you are fine and with no scars. If they do it for a couple of days you can take it as a joke. After that it will be rude and consider it harassment.
Hailey_O81 5
FML isn't acting like a FML site, people are now posting stupid stories
timotay89 14
KATNISS EVERDEEN!
ahh_rats 15
I got it hahaha
NodakN8V 25
Ahhh the Breast puns in the world have arrived
kasmol 16
And now....the Amazing Flaming Ta Tas.
JaymaBlu 5
The girl on fire.
cakefete2 31
You guys think these breast puns are titillating, but they're not. I'm setting a booby trap for the next person who makes another word play aimed at OP's cleavage.
ahh_rats 15
Lady where do you work lol