Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad's face flushed when I introduced him to my new boyfriend. I live in a small town, and it turns out my dad recognized him. He's the secret child from an affair two decades ago. He's my half-brother. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
Today, we've been dating for over three months, but I went over my girlfriend's house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, you must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friends think I'm a bastard. FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She greeted us holding a baby, and I told her how cute her son was. She told me that it was her grandson. Turns out my boyfriend is the father. We're 16. FML
Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML
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Top comments
Silentshdw13 22
Definitely seems like your father wanted to embarrass you from the start. Why ask out of nowhere for the mother's maiden name? Lol
nzhx 23
Oh my god, OP I am so sorry. That makes for an awkward situation, but (hopefully) your father was just joking
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Comments (67)
zeffra13 31
Unless he also got your mom pregnant with you during high school, you're safe.
saffy66 34
I'm going to take a guess that this is one of those 'dad jokes' designed to embarrass one's offspring, and he'd have said the exact same thing no matter what name the young man gave.
sousaphonist 14
Oh, that's nothing. My mother's the youngest of 25 first cousins. My father's father, immediately before meeting my grandmother, dated the eldest of those first cousins.
dcats 13
He should thanks your father to lower the bar.
elektra2 16
Congratulations on meeting your step-brother!
daddysgirl8 21
How to get rid of your daughter's boyfriend 101
DoDaJulio 13
Oh god
Scorpio01 16
That trick always works...
RealSuperSand 21
Makes for some accurate Game of Thrones role play.
Huodang2 6
Cool dad is cool. Grat dad is great. Troll dad is troll. Your dad makes a fine combination from these, dancing on the boundaries of your nerves. Paradoxically this is a great fml :), sry OP