Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML
Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML
Today, I shaved my legs for the first time in three weeks. It took half an hour, three disposable razors, and I cut my legs up so badly they look worse then they did when they were hairy. FML
Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML
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Top comments
Cavebone 5
Just wondering if you're a girl our guy do I can grimace accordingly
stronghand0331 17
How uncoordinated does one have to be to take multiple gouges out of ones important bits with an electric shaver?
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Comments (95)
hol18 5
If there is a lot of hair, trim with scissors first (not to close) and then use the preferred hair removal product. Absolutely no need for 'professional hair.clippers'.
totheforest84 4
yeah got to he careful with those they will pull loose skin in real quick; leaves some interesting marks or apperantly through massive amounts of blood everywhere based on your wording.
freshx_fml 6
Sinner.
Austyn57 1
lets c your masterpeicr
CadillacPimpen 6
I would wax 36 for free..
WritingWrongs 8
-36, not lately, I'm not that broke anymore... But no, I have never heard of someone actually paying to have some stranger shave their balls. I guess I'm wierd like that.
RedPillSucks 33
Because he's the most interesting dog in the world. He once dug up a complete dinosaur skeleton to add to his bone collection. Don't say 'commo estas' to him unless the rest of your conversation will be in German, Chinese, and Spanish, simultaneously .
Pwuj 6
Reading this made my penis cringed fear,.
macpabloBUCK 1
Holy ****, what were you trying to do, ********** with them?
Chris_trolololol 2
Can you imagine discovering that scabby, scarred mess? ...you should become celibate, OP. lol. Oh, and I agree with # 49. YDI