Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML
Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML
Today, I shaved my legs for the first time in three weeks. It took half an hour, three disposable razors, and I cut my legs up so badly they look worse then they did when they were hairy. FML
Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Cavebone 5
Just wondering if you're a girl our guy do I can grimace accordingly
stronghand0331 17
How uncoordinated does one have to be to take multiple gouges out of ones important bits with an electric shaver?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (95)
wannabesinger 16
You live under a rock, 34?
chuckcloninger 12
Girl, what in the hell did you do to yourself?
CuriousAlien 7
Shit, that has to hurt. A murder scene. I don't know if you are exaggerating or being for real, but I hope you didn't damage yourself down there. Good luck explaining to your husband OP.
missababgaga 19
I absolutely love your picture!
bach2121 13
Michigan people are stupid
emag_eht 18
So everyone from Michigan is stupid because of one person. Then is it safe to say that people from Pennsylvania are stupid because you are stupid?
davestrider 0
Sorry about your special purpose
roninvamp 4
Ouch. Next time don't use the lighter setting dial it back a bit, you wanna use the clippers to take off the majority, but for the close work you still need to use a regular razor. Once you do that you just need to do it every few days or once a week wit the razor depending on how fast n heavy your hair grows
Sai_Run614 7
I dont understand why ppl arent saying you deserved this.
ballpython 15
All I can say is NEVER EVER use an electric shaver (like you use for your face) on your balls. I have gotten cut 100x's more using that the one time i did than I ever have using a regular razor. Unless you have Parkinson's using a regular razor it not that dangerous.
trinsic 1
Don't know if you are a guy or girl OP, but here's what I use (I'm a guy). Norelco BodyGroomer. It is kinda like a small simple electric razor. Been using one for 3-4 years now, once a month or so, and never had a problem with cuts, etc. It gets as close as a blade, and is really easy to use. I highly recommend you try it if you really want to shave those pubes off regularly safely.
kissandcontrol01 20
Just go "with the grain", don't pull the skin extremely tight and don't press too hard. Just hard enough to remove. That way theres no razor burn, no cuts, bumps or itching