Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML
Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML
Today, I shaved my legs for the first time in three weeks. It took half an hour, three disposable razors, and I cut my legs up so badly they look worse then they did when they were hairy. FML
Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML
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Top comments
Cavebone 5
Just wondering if you're a girl our guy do I can grimace accordingly
stronghand0331 17
How uncoordinated does one have to be to take multiple gouges out of ones important bits with an electric shaver?
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Comments (95)
andrew6p 19
You can always use a trimming machine or the safest is hair removing cream...
TheMathMajor 26
Your not supposed to use hair removal cream on your genitals! The skin is more sensitive there and the hair is thicker, so you would end up burning yourself and not getting rid of any hair.
xNephilim 19
They have hair removal products especially for the genitals. Still not sure if I'd want that down there either way.
Rosicles 8
For a second there I thought you said scraping.. I feel so mentally scarred now.
perdix 31
So, after the first nick, you kept pressing on? That's some determination, buddy! Wouldn't it have been better to trim back the thicket before going back to shave off the lawn?
southerngalslove 15
nair! works way better.
ManicGypsy 22
No, no, no. I used Nair down there. Chemical burns down there are NOT FUN! Ouch. OP, I hope you recover quickly. Might I suggest waxing next time?
perdix 31
#27, yes, but you've got to be very careful about the time you leave it on. And rinse really, really well taking it off.
TheMathMajor 26
It clearly says on the nair box not to use it down there. At least it did the one time I tried nair a long time ago. All it did was stink and it didn't remove any if my leg hair.
riffrandall 2
That's what my boyfriend does, I time it for him to make sure he doesn't get a burn, and he uses the "bikini area" stuff. Works well enough.
ShyAnn29 15
18, that made my ****** hurt!
Alyssa5206 1
ow!
dustbunny416 0
I thumbed you down for your duck face photo. YDI
isamisis 9
Clippers are only for the prep work. Use a fresh Gillette for the surface. And always take your time; like painting a canvas.
coolhandluke60 6
Hahahaha like painting a canvas lolzzz
mw60 1
Beard trimmer, not hair trimmer. The beard trimmer is made for small curvy areas.
HKCgrimmjow 15
LOL small curvy areas... Made my day
WritingWrongs 8
-6, you would let a stranger wax or trim your genitals?? People are willing to shave other people's genitals for money?? What kind of a world do we live in??
rasengan1544 12
For some reason I read this as "today I bought my professor hair clippers to shave down below" and I was like WTF?
gracehi 33
Apples are soooooo 1952.
skittles_fairy07 4
OMG. I did the same thing. Thank you. XD