Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML
Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML
Today, I shaved my legs for the first time in three weeks. It took half an hour, three disposable razors, and I cut my legs up so badly they look worse then they did when they were hairy. FML
Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML
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Top comments
Cavebone 5
Just wondering if you're a girl our guy do I can grimace accordingly
stronghand0331 17
How uncoordinated does one have to be to take multiple gouges out of ones important bits with an electric shaver?
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Comments (95)
Trainzboy 4
You should press charges.
fulgura 10
Hopefully your clippers have an extendable guard. 1/16" goes a long way. P.S. That's what she said
Dfrmr21 5
You have to be careful on which razor you use in order to prevent being butchered in the future.
flashback_fml 14
Guy or girl lol
sugarbear0727 19
I had an ex who did that. I did him a favor, so he said he would shave his junk. Well, his skin got caught.in the clipper and he had an inch long piece of skin rip off. I have never laughed so hard in my life. I'm not cruel, I've nicked myself and I know its painful as hell. Laughing is just how I deal with things.
ifuckuprandomly 28
As a barber, I am inclined to ask these questions; 1.) Were the clippers zero-gapped? (no overlap between the comb and the blade) 2.) Were the clipper blades sharp? (as blunt blades tend to pull the hair and make it bleed) 3.) Did you use much pressure? (as using too much pressure with sharp blades will cut skin like a knife through butter)