Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML
Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML
Today, I shaved my legs for the first time in three weeks. It took half an hour, three disposable razors, and I cut my legs up so badly they look worse then they did when they were hairy. FML
Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML
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Top comments
Cavebone 5
Just wondering if you're a girl our guy do I can grimace accordingly
stronghand0331 17
How uncoordinated does one have to be to take multiple gouges out of ones important bits with an electric shaver?
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Comments (95)
kelseymill124 0
Use a lot of neosporin!
maddogslayer1 2
I did that too pal I know how u feel!
gangnamstyle_fml 5
If your a man now your circumcised
hurrican_fml 0
Could have just gotten another razor
onorexveritas 24
ouch
Ray_of_midnight 23
You know, they make specialized trimmers for that. Just sayin'. Or you could just suck it up and go get waxed.
iOceanus 18
34 - It wouldn't be the first time someone gets paid to see, touch, or do both to someone else's junk.
jelly713 19
Sh OP, if you're a girl, I strongly recommend the razor I use. The battery operated dual shaving razor with the bikini zone trimmer on the other side, specifically meant to trim down your bush to shave-able hair. It's the popular turquoise razor from Schick in the Target or CVS shaving product section. It's roughly $11, the razor replacements 4 for $18 but this razor has lasted me for 10 months now with 2 razor heads remaining so clearly it was worth the money since I don't pay 7 dollars a month for replacements & I get a great shave everytime. Make sure to also buy Bikini Zone's anti bump shave gel to shave. This bottle may only be 4 oz, but a little goes a long way. If your skin is getting used to shaving buy Bikini Zone medicated cream. Both are under $10 together. After a few shaves you won't need the medicated cream. To get a close shave make sure to stay in the water for a couple minutes to dampen the hair & weigh it down so you get a better shave later. Warning: the trimmer can nick you if it's battery is low. It starts shutting off so as soon as it does turn it off & replace the battery. It hurts when it nicks, & it won't even trim well anyway. To finish the trim just shave with the hair then shave against it when you start shaving it off. Hope this helps!
sillyyanks 24
And if you're a guy... you're ******.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Holy crap, that wig is perfectly set on that dogs head
acetheone 8
guess who's not getting laid ? no, not me. fyl op.