Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML
Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML
Today, I shaved my legs for the first time in three weeks. It took half an hour, three disposable razors, and I cut my legs up so badly they look worse then they did when they were hairy. FML
Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML
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Top comments
Cavebone 5
Just wondering if you're a girl our guy do I can grimace accordingly
stronghand0331 17
How uncoordinated does one have to be to take multiple gouges out of ones important bits with an electric shaver?
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Comments (95)
icemand90 17
LOL thats terrible!, once bitten twice shy?...
ASD_K 11
No.
beachchick9498 5
How the heck does that even relate to the FML?
Codezlol 21
No offense but I am guessing you guys are clueless as to the meaning of "Once bitten, twice shy". It actually fits this Fml quite nicely.
Llama_Face89 34
38- Once bitten twice shy means when you have an unpleasant experience you tend to try and avoid putting yourself in situations that may result in a similar experience. It actually relates rather well to this FML.
kirby1964 20
Ok, I use a simple beard trimmer myself. They do not cost very much and do a good job. No blood so far.
RedPillSucks 33
Tmi would be if he said a guy with a beard trims it
ShyAnn29 15
21, nice visual, the thought of that made me laugh!!
hawright 13
3- I do the same thing. It is much cheaper and I haven't been cut yet.
blackpuddle 30
I do the same. I set it on the closest trim setting and there is practically no hair left, and no razor burn unlike shaving. I've also had no blood from it, also unlike shaving.
Tuffay 14
Pic or it didn't happen. ;-)
kissandcontrol01 20
That's not too tmi.... TMI would be if he said he uses the beard trimmer for face and crotch
MissCharlotte_fml 26
He said exactly that, 76. Just... subtly.
Comet_Candy 23
Just reading this FML made my genitals hurt... Hope you recover quickly, OP!
foshizzle82 7
Mine too! My vajajay cringed lol
UberNova 18
I once used shaving cream, a razor (guarded of course) and scissors. Always pay full attention! Shaving cream in a cut on your sack is beyond painful.
firegirl1993 21
Mine too. I didn't know it was possible for my lady bits to sink deeper into my body. But they found their way!
Cavebone 5
Just wondering if you're a girl our guy do I can grimace accordingly
perdix 31
*or a guy, I'm sure you meant to say. I'm glad you mentioned this. . . I have two separate cringes in store depending on the OP's gender. It seems that 90+% of FMLs include the OP's gender, and the rest are where it's relevant.
love_me_electric 20
Doesn't matter if OP's a guy or girl, either image is horrifying
RussianFox 13
Especially with hair clippers. OP incase you decide to try this again (which I highly doubt) just get it professionally waxed or trimmed.
stronghand0331 17
How uncoordinated does one have to be to take multiple gouges out of ones important bits with an electric shaver?
Dracoboxer357 36
7- Says the girl to the determined guy with Parkinson's. ;P
RedPillSucks 33
It only takes one nick
michaeljcaboose 7
I envision Peter Griffin "shaving" Quagmire's cat lol
onlychildFTW 34
I envision peters desk fan shaver with all the razor blades on it and he slashes his face all over the mirror. Haha.
chatwithstar 7
If it was your first time shaving, then that really sucks.
Llamacod 11
but if they've shaved a dozen times it doesn't??
vde_fml 15
Waxing my dear, waxing.
kay71095 9
Do you know how bad waxing hurts there?! It's beyond painful for me, and I bleed from it.
mpalmiter 0
Obviously waxing hurts 81, but I would rather "suck it up" than end up with a bloody, sexless mess
TimmaysRoXy 9
Being as its pretty scary getting that intimate with the clippers, shouldn't you have used the guards?!!! Oooouch!!
bigbear412 3
dont you watch blue mountain state??
damiencye 3
Love that show
vintage3113 6
PARTY AT THE GOATHOUSE!