Today, I was taking a piss when a old lady somehow managed to wander in. She blushed, chuckled and apologized, "Sorry, little fella!" before leaving. I don't know what size she was commenting on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML
Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, I was in a gas station bathroom attempting to buy a condom from the machine on the wall. A woman who smelled of cat piss walked in, and I got embarrassed so I fled into a stall. She then started a conversation with me about "the good old days" from the next stall over. FML
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, as I went to the bathroom in a port-a-potty at a park, I forgot to lock the door. A little girl opens the door and then slams it right away. As she walked away I heard her say "no, there's a man in there". I'm a woman. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML
Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MisstressNicole 20
If you have to ask I assume you already know.
tantanpanda 26
I guess it's times like these that it's good to be a shower.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (13)
MisstressNicole 20
If you have to ask I assume you already know.
Aiden89 23
Sorry OP, I laughed out loud at her little comment.
tantanpanda 26
I guess it's times like these that it's good to be a shower.
RichardPencil 32
Took me an hour to realize you meant the opposite of a grower, and a rhyme. What the hell did this have to do with falling water?
RichardPencil 32
Maybe it was cold and there was "significant shrinkage?"
Iwannarock1 19
Is that the excuse you use, pencil?
RichardPencil 32
There are no excuses. It is what it is.
mikethekid07 13
unless you pee sitting down i doubt she seen your front so you should be good pal
MrKento11 12
You shouldnt give to much attention to stuff like that. I began to be much more comfortable with myself when I understood that my dick was under average size, and thats life. Just love yourself, dude. Cheer up. At least somebody blushed by the sight of your penis.
cootiequeen4444 11
Honestly while there's a chance it was your dick size, unless she is one of those atypical bad ass foul-mouthed grannies, it probably had to more to do with your age... granted if you are let's say 35 or younger. and/or maybe your height? if you are short, then c'mon, you know it was the old lady thinking you are some kid (aka little fella) and you are just writing this FML because that whole scenario sounded bad/funny. As someone said, you probably know the answer to the question you are asking...
jcash52426 5
I can only think of 3 things 1) your short 2) you flashed her and she was talking about your penis 3) that's just something she says
Will Flynn 4
Ah, the grandma burn. Seldom seen but much more intense when actually encountered. Here, have some ice.
Goblin182 27
Yea you do.