Extravirgin
Munich, Germany 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
gassygirlfriend
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Nampa, United States
Love is…
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
sixsix
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
spaceavery
Gresham, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML
eeewww
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
dragonstooth257
🌶️ Spicy
Quickie
Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML
Rumpkis
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
unsatisfied
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Fast and Furious
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
waitforit
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML
ThreeWeeksWithoutSex
San Francisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Parenting is exhausting
Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML
Top comments
Welshite 40
Well...fork.
pratikp03 22
Excited much?
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Comments (104)
pratikp03 22
Excited much?
incoherentrmblr 22
Well... you ejaculated quickly...
MortenM 17
Easy cum, easy go
NotSoScarred 2
First
Jojohn0 23
tony1891 22
reminds me of the scene from American pie. atta boy jimbo!
garrett_8614 14
Reminds me of that scene from Don Jon
Welshite 40
Well...fork.
DARKDAY07 16
Well this ejaculated quickly... Escalated I mean
MrFluff 9
You suck!.. Ya jackass!
colby6666 43
Dude, too spoon.
Allie614032 34
Is that a Happy Gilmore reference?? :D
devildog562 33
Spooning leads to forking. Edit: Welshite , you beat me to it.
Welshite 40
That's knife of you to give me credit. Thanks!
Syruphs 17
@devildog562 Hahaha his name makes it sound like you said: "well shit, you beat me to it" unless I pronounced your username wrong @welshite
devildog562 33
With such a silver tongue like yours, I'm sure I'll hear from you spoon.
devildog562 33
#14 I was attempting to use it as a synonym.
IamHercules 24
Spooning leads to forking: use condiments.
MrFluff 9
Is there not sporking?
muis545 21
You probably ********** a lot, don't you?
hamrtym 15
actually not enough
tournamentdecide 33
Like Mad Eye Moody says, "Constant viligance."
muis545 21
You probably ********** a lot, don't you?
tony1891 22
you Probably ********** a lot, don't you? third times the charm....right?
devildog562 33
Never go out with a loaded gun! It's dangerous for everyone.
connorgrant98 24
The fact that he came fast implies that either he doesn't ********** often or he didn't do it recently.
Patriots21 14
I'd suggest vigorous beating of the salami before you guys have sex to prevent yourself from submitting another FML about how you busted when she put a condom on you.
ChristianH39 30
"vigorous beating of the salami" almost made me dribble coffee on myself laughing
lilchica22001 22
Premature coffee dribbling @ #45
Ilovemysphynx 19
Practice makes perfect. :)
cherry_popper69 11
I dont think he wanted to blow his load in a minute? Why would he practise that
patrickalamo 48
Reload and try again.
Serenity77 11
wat
Eliseopwns 22
... Bless your partner's soul.