NSFW: Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having...

Extravirgin 16 December 2014, 12:01 Munich, Germany 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

104 comments

Collection

Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Same thing different taste

gassygirlfriend This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff Nampa, United States

Love is…

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

115 comments

sixsix 24 December 2008, 11:19 France 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

85 comments

spaceavery 24 September 2016, 04:53 Gresham, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML

33 comments

eeewww 21 November 2018, 03:13 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

32 comments

dragonstooth257 3 February 2019, 12:00 🌶️ Spicy

Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML

17 comments

Rumpkis 5 December 2011, 01:30 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

263 comments

unsatisfied 9 February 2010, 03:33 France 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

197 comments

Anonymous 2 March 2020, 01:00 🌶️ Spicy

Fast and Furious

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

10 comments

waitforit 23 April 2009, 11:42 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML

155 comments

ThreeWeeksWithoutSex 28 December 2015, 05:43 San Francisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Parenting is exhausting

Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML

64 comments

Welshite 40

16 December 2014, 17:50

Well...fork.

pratikp03 22

16 December 2014, 17:46

Excited much?

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Comments (104)

MrTaco0007 3

16 December 2014, 19:13

idk if i ahould say this but i feel ya . *sad face*

ThePols 11

16 December 2014, 19:16

She must have been one hell of a little spoon.

chalalala_fml 2

16 December 2014, 19:24

It reminds me of a FML that has been posted on the French version a few days ago. It was a single girl who met a man a few months ago, and they were sleeping together for the first time in the same bed. The guy kissed her and came in his pants right after kissing her. He ended up washing his pair of trousers and came back to wish her good night. I'm sorry for you OP though, it must be really hard for you..