Today, I learned that you should never ask your 11 year-old daughter to read a text for you while you’re driving. She read a text from a girl I had a one-night stand with on New Year's Eve, demanding why I never called her again. Yes, my wife was also in the car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML
Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago, my four year-old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I found out that my 11 year-old daughter dresses skimpy when I drop her off on the weekends at my ex-husband’s house, courtesy of his girlfriend, who he cheated on me with. When I confronted her, she told me to “stop being such a prude” and with my attitude, “no wonder you get cheated on.” FML
Today, the girl I was seeing was concerned about why I haven’t texted her in the past day. I sent her a picture of my newborn daughter and told her that my sister had a baby, and that I was helping her out. I had inadvertently sent it to my wife instead, because both their names started with H. She “Read” it already. FML
Today, my teenage stepdaughter wrecked her third car texting and driving. I’ve pleaded with my husband to stop buying her new ones and to revoke her driving privileges. He’s so desperate for her to love him that he’ll give her literally anything. I’m scared she’s going to get someone killed. FML
Today, my daughter asked to use my phone to find hers. Instead, she sent multiple messages to my boyfriend, trying to break up with him. When asked why she did it, she said it’s because she wants me to get back with her father. This would be somewhat understandable if she wasn’t 32 years-old. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML
Today, after her very first driving lesson, my daughter came home claiming she did really well. Which is suspicious since her instructor was at that moment on the phone with me yelling, saying I must be crazy if I think she’s ever getting in his car again, and that I should explain to her what a bus pass is. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of your own actions.
Plop 17
Well, your lesson seems only valid if you're a walking-talking piece of shit. You may not want to state in such a universal way as you did. And just to make everyone's day brighter, how hard did you get served?
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Comments (14)
Erin Harned 9
you deserved it. hope your wife leaves you.
Plop 17
Well, your lesson seems only valid if you're a walking-talking piece of shit. You may not want to state in such a universal way as you did. And just to make everyone's day brighter, how hard did you get served?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Dick move dicking another woman, Banner.
JackWood 21
way to fu your daughters life, your wife's and your own
Anderling 33
Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of your own actions.
OfficialMrD 3
You absolutely deserved it you piece of shit
RichardPencil 32
You prick! Why did you ghost that poor girl? Wasn't she good enough to be a proper side piece?
Sdog 6
YDI, if you’re going to mess around, you can’t let others see your phone.
randybryant799 21
Sorry buddy but no sympathy here.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
THAT'S the lesson you learned from this? Not don't be a dick who cheats on your wife?