Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working as an Uber driver, I asked my passenger for directions and she didn’t know. She was going to her own house. FML
Today, I took my daughter out driving to practice for her road test. I told her to make a left into a parking lot. She missed the 30-foot wide entrance, but not the two-foot wide tree. FML
Today, I took my 15 year-old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML
Today, I asked a stranger for directions and then drove in the opposite direction they'd pointed to, all because my ADHD brain did that thing where I couldn't pay attention past their first instruction, which to me sounded like, "Take the first left, then the second right, then fla flafla fla flaflafla." FML
Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML
Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML
Today, I learned that you should never ask your 11 year-old daughter to read a text for you while you’re driving. She read a text from a girl I had a one-night stand with on New Year's Eve, demanding why I never called her again. Yes, my wife was also in the car. FML
Today, my teenage daughter got her driver’s license. Less than an hour later she wrecked my wife’s new minivan. FML
Today, my daughter called me panicking that her car died in the middle of the road. I had to FaceTime her to talk her through calling a tow truck. Turns out she ignored the warning lights telling her that the tank was low and drove it until the tank was empty. I had to pay for that, plus the tow fees. FML
Today, my mom drove my car and had to make a U-turn on a narrow street. Instead of slowing down, she sped up to turn, running off the road and denting my car. To make things worse, she blamed me for not giving her good directions, then followed that up with, "It's not that bad." FML
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Top comments
omfg_creepers 8
You should have made her push the car with yourself in it 36 miles backwards.
Kitastropheee 12
If she has a job, make her pay for the gas she wasted!
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Comments (178)
unknown_user5566 27
How did you not notice that she was quietly staring at the phone, instead of reading off directions?
botanistjessica 24
Probably because they were on the highway. There aren't any directions to read for miles at a time, usually.
Honestly_Lainey 21
16- Exactly what I was thinking. Were it just a short distance, it'd be understandable. But 32 miles? Geez.
death943 10
"Keep your eyes on the road"
theneatoburrito 8
I don't understand; Instagram is devolution. Using better and newer technology to take crappier pictures? Teenagers these days... Anyways, FYL OP for missing that turn (and having a "hipster" daughter).
unknown_user5566 27
Just to clarify, not everyone uses the Instagram camera to take their photos. Many of the people I follow upload photos they've taken with an actual camera, and then occasionally apply filters. I view Instagram as a visual blog; you get to see flashes of other's days through pictures. Also you can't bash someone for being a "hipster" when you have a meme as your profile picture.
theneatoburrito 8
Why on earth would you want to lessen the quality of a picture? And a visual blog? Please. Ever hear of Tumblr? Instagram is just a sad excuse teens use to call themselves "photographers". And dear god, how does my profile picture being a meme make me hipster in any way? If anything, you're the hipster here.
unknown_user5566 27
45- That is the beauty of art- it is subjective. I have seen beautiful photographs from "traditional" photographers, as well as photographers who choose to use digital enhancements. I agree that the Instagram filters do not take skill, but in general, digital photography is definitely a skill. Photoshop is an amazing tool, though difficult to use.
theneatoburrito 8
54, I agree completely. And then these teenagers act like they're professional photographers because they have Instagram.
unknown_user5566 27
54/56- I agree that the term "photographer" is thrown around with little regard for its actual meaning these days, and not just with teenagers- adults do it too. I never said that wasn't true. :) My original point was that not everyone on Instagram uses it to look cool, or to claim that they are the next Ansel Adams.
unknown_user5566 27
Oh, and 63- A website meant to display art should not be edited based on the preference users have for certain types of photographs (traditional versus digital), in my opinion. That type of site would feel like a contradiction to its purpose, which would be displaying the artistic creations of its users.
eccentrix 12
I was confused about the meme/hipster thing, but then I realised you were saying memes are just as lame as hipsters, not that they're related in any way.
unknown_user5566 27
69- Fair enough! I just feel that art is one of the few things that should not be judged based on technique preferences, since it is supposed to represent the individual and their own creativity. :) To be honest, I don't do artsy photographs on Instagram 100% of the time, anyways. I think the majority of my photos are of my puppies. :) Even when you're not being artsy, it's a fun way to show people what is going on in your life in a nonverbal manner.
errbear14 5
56/54: That's not true at all. I'm a teenage girl who uses instagram & I don't think that makes me a photographer, nor do any of my friends who use it. We use it because we like to take random photos & share them with each other. That doesn't make anyone a hipster either.
Lilwolfyyy 0
That is a perfect example of a photograper.
errbear14 5
You want to know who a photographer is? A photographer is someone who takes professional photos and makes a living off of it. That is a who a photographer is. You're only hating on instagram because so many people like it.
unknown_user5566 27
105- I thought this was actually a very civil conversation where we were simply discussing opinions. No need to get your panties in a bunch and call us all stupid.
unknown_user5566 27
Next time, ask Siri instead.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"Siri, call me an ambulance!" "Ok. I will call you 'an ambulance' from now on."
FMeIfYouCan 0
This sucks but, 32 miles? Srlsly? Just because your daughter didn't read it out for you? Most people would noticed that there's something wrong within first 5-10 miles.
your_face 15
OP should have had a general idea of where s/he was going and which roads to take. Sure, s/he may not have been able to remember all of them, but you can't blame the passenger when you're not watching the signs.
FreaksandGeeks 5
128- Or maybe they'd never been to their destination, or even on that side of town before? Not everyone has a visual map in their head.
your_face 15
151 - You look up the route on Google beforehand. You look at the names of the roads you'll need to take. You keep them in mind. You occasionally ask your navigator what road you're looking to turn or exit onto next. This is especially important if you're in an unfamiliar area - why would you go blindly driving into a new place?
br0ccoli 15
My research studies at MeMyself&I University show that smartphones are decreasing people's attention span and contributing to massive stupidity and lack of common sense. Example 1: Instagram-ing while trying to navigate. Example 2: The ****** in front of me who used his brakes abruptly and hogged the whole street, while on his cell phone, with broken break lights.
unknown_user5566 27
Ooh, MeMyself&I? I've heard that university is quite prestigious. ;)
br0ccoli 15
It sure is. It has a 0.000001% acceptance rate. :D
Everlastingx 6
Oh.. Poor you.. Wait how on earth did you not notice? Oh and I honestly think Instagram sucks..
Zomg_Okay 27
OP didn't notice because they don't know the area/route/whatever. Why else would they have needed directions?
LadyGore 12
Well that's rather selfish of her. Priorities are not her to strong suite it seems!
thatrealysucks 0
never let ur children use the phone for reading instructions my daughter did the same thing
TheLolomonkee 0
Seems like something I would do haha
Everlastingx 6
That.. That's nice. Don't ever do it.
mrkck 0
Next time she asks for a ride, take a 32 mile detour. Life lesson learned!