Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while working as an Uber driver, I asked my passenger for directions and she didn’t know. She was going to her own house. FML
Today, I took my daughter out driving to practice for her road test. I told her to make a left into a parking lot. She missed the 30-foot wide entrance, but not the two-foot wide tree. FML
Today, I took my 15 year-old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML
Today, I asked a stranger for directions and then drove in the opposite direction they'd pointed to, all because my ADHD brain did that thing where I couldn't pay attention past their first instruction, which to me sounded like, "Take the first left, then the second right, then fla flafla fla flaflafla." FML
Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML
Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML
Today, I learned that you should never ask your 11 year-old daughter to read a text for you while you’re driving. She read a text from a girl I had a one-night stand with on New Year's Eve, demanding why I never called her again. Yes, my wife was also in the car. FML
Today, my teenage daughter got her driver’s license. Less than an hour later she wrecked my wife’s new minivan. FML
Today, my daughter called me panicking that her car died in the middle of the road. I had to FaceTime her to talk her through calling a tow truck. Turns out she ignored the warning lights telling her that the tank was low and drove it until the tank was empty. I had to pay for that, plus the tow fees. FML
Today, my mom drove my car and had to make a U-turn on a narrow street. Instead of slowing down, she sped up to turn, running off the road and denting my car. To make things worse, she blamed me for not giving her good directions, then followed that up with, "It's not that bad." FML
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Top comments
omfg_creepers 8
You should have made her push the car with yourself in it 36 miles backwards.
Kitastropheee 12
If she has a job, make her pay for the gas she wasted!
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Comments (178)
martin_martian7 11
Instagram and driving don't mix.
shutyourmouth12Z 7
It was a good thing your daughter was on instagram otherwise she would have missed the latest featured picture
jokesta187 11
Beat her.
vanessuhm 15
This makes me ashamed to be a teenage girl. -_-
StrangeDuckling 9
AMEN!! Lol
afropuffjake 9
Kids will be kids.
woainishamu 21
More like instalost.
criss90 19
Get the app called Waze. It dictates the directions, it is free and a great GPS. I use it all the time!
perdix 31
I'll bet you that little Safari made you one Angry Bird wanting to Yelp at your inconsiderate kid.
KM96 24
Oophs
Major_General 10
Amazingly there is this thing called a "map". It is made from "paper" and "ink", both of which are well proven technologies, for centuries, as is the "map" which provides a top down view of a territory that is available offline and does not use power. It is also portable, and generally inexpensive. Of course, it requires that you stop driving to use it. But then again, if it was so important to get to you destination you could have stopped and read the directions on your iphone yourself.