Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter decided it was a good day to put a bath bomb in the aquarium so the fish could have a relaxing bath with cool pink water. She didn’t know the fish would end up being killed. She’s 16. FML
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML
Today, I finally found out why my fish were dying in their tank. My younger sister had been spraying detergent in there because she wanted "to make the fish smell like lemons". FML
Today, I saw my cat playing in the other room. Fascinated, I watched him for a few minutes before I realized he was playing with one of my daughter's fish. Well, what was left of it. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter put her grow-in-water salamander in my fish tank. The residue from the toy gummed up the filter and killed all the fish. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Since the fish are already cleaned, may as well have your husband make dinner. Fish, anyone?
SirCharles83 13
Sounds like your husband will be sleeping with the fish.
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Comments (158)
momo1972 3
Shhhhh. Don't wake him.
The_F3rris 11
Thats how my dad babysits too. Maybe its a guy thing. He should clean the mess up though since it happened on his watch.
Squeaky_Tomato 14
A guy thing? More like a crappy illfit parent thing. So what if he was tired? He could have stayed awake a few more hours, tucked the daughter into bed for a nap too, or told his wife that he is unable to complete a simple task.
vbmg152 19
It's a guy thing!
whogivesafuck88 10
And a partridge in a pair tree!!!
shawnagreenbean1 9
Somebody already beat you to it! Look at #9 Also, it's *pear tree. Like the fruit..
shawnagreenbean1 9
Lol, and #60 apparently
ElishaisSexy2016 9
Maybe there was an odor and the daughter thought the fish needed a bath? I mean smart girl if that was the case....
skyeyez9 25
My mom told me my dad tried to change my diaper, once. After he changed me, my mom came over to pick me up, the diaper completely fell off. My dad blamed me and said it was cause i wouldn't sit still.
onorexveritas 24
that's a hell of an example
noisebox 1
Looks like you've reproduced with a ' tool'
katie887 2
It's really cute, and funny! You will laugh at it when u grow old with your daughter.
KZN02 18
Chiri Kitsu, is that you?
zombiekitten87 12
Bet the fish didn't find it funny. Lol