Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter decided it was a good day to put a bath bomb in the aquarium so the fish could have a relaxing bath with cool pink water. She didn’t know the fish would end up being killed. She’s 16. FML
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML
Today, I finally found out why my fish were dying in their tank. My younger sister had been spraying detergent in there because she wanted "to make the fish smell like lemons". FML
Today, I saw my cat playing in the other room. Fascinated, I watched him for a few minutes before I realized he was playing with one of my daughter's fish. Well, what was left of it. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter put her grow-in-water salamander in my fish tank. The residue from the toy gummed up the filter and killed all the fish. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Since the fish are already cleaned, may as well have your husband make dinner. Fish, anyone?
SirCharles83 13
Sounds like your husband will be sleeping with the fish.
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Comments (158)
Lioness8197 18
5 squeaky clean fish, an entertained child, and a well rested husband. You also knocked all your errands out. I think this I a productive day.
Lioness8197 18
Was*
GothickNihilist 15
The situation could be worse OP.At least your daughter didn't ingest the dish soap . I hope the fish weren't too expensive , that way they could be replaced.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Nobody ever suggests replacing any other kind of pet in such a carefree manner. I love my fish; they're not just a decoration. I would be shattered if this happened to me.
toughchick14 15
Wow! Your husband needs some coffee and better parenting skills.
bryan788 29
Awesome, Father of the year award?
NigerianMedicine 11
This is not so bad. Your floor is clean, your husband is rested, and you have sushi for dinner. All in all, not bad.
miss_sqwert 19
Poor poor fish
SuperGirlTaDa 15
You're the first person who genuinely sounds sad for the poor fishies:( I was sort of disturbed by everyone saying it meant "dinner" or that you can just replace them. I agree, poor poor fish
duckyeah 6
Sounds to me like you've yourself quite a fishy situation! Your daughter cleaned the floors, your husband rested, you finished your errands, and you already know what you're having for dinner! Sushi, anyone? But really... Sorry about your pets. And don't kill your husband over spilt milk... Or should I say dead fish... Anyway, enjoy your daughter while she's young! And enjoy your marriage while it too is young! Just laugh. :)
SeniorHaG 4
Maybe your "few errands" took longer than expected, I would've slept too.
CamdenMarie 6
13 - you're the one that woke up naked next to your gay roommate! How did that turn out for you, by the way? Did you, uh, solve the mystery?
zombiekitten87 12
He sounds like one of those guys who calls it "babysitting" while watching their own kids.