Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter decided it was a good day to put a bath bomb in the aquarium so the fish could have a relaxing bath with cool pink water. She didn’t know the fish would end up being killed. She’s 16. FML
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML
Today, I finally found out why my fish were dying in their tank. My younger sister had been spraying detergent in there because she wanted "to make the fish smell like lemons". FML
Today, I saw my cat playing in the other room. Fascinated, I watched him for a few minutes before I realized he was playing with one of my daughter's fish. Well, what was left of it. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter put her grow-in-water salamander in my fish tank. The residue from the toy gummed up the filter and killed all the fish. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Since the fish are already cleaned, may as well have your husband make dinner. Fish, anyone?
SirCharles83 13
Sounds like your husband will be sleeping with the fish.
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Comments (158)
CeltHound 14
Typical....
SApprentice 34
99- Why so sexist?
StanSmith2013 26
Her intentions were good and based on her own experiences. Maybe sit her down to watch Finding Nemo :)
thatoneguy79 10
Fish are friends, not food
stephiijo 15
Well I think that's a little overboard. Kids are kids regardless of whether or not you're watching them. I got into mischief all the time. And society didn't fall apart.
kyat288 9
Make him clean it up... Who's the bitch now?!
SApprentice 34
111- Why are you so angry at men? Nothing was said about anyone being 'the bitch.' Edit- Forgot to hit reply.
celine21_fml 0
I think he/she was just being sarcastic
chosha_fml 27
If you cleaned up the mess instead of having him (and your daughter) do it, YDI.
WhoSaidThatIsh 13
Im sorry about your fish-family, but that could have turned out to be a way worse scenario. Hopefully, it's age appropriate to replace the fish??
Gemini_Jordan 0
shame on you for letting an idiot watch your child!
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Well it’s lucky that you came home only to a foam party instead of an injured kid. Your husband is clearly irresponsible. As for the guys who says that he might have been exhausted from working too hard etc, well at least he should have let his wife know that he was not fit to mind the child. He should have known better really.
Epikouros 32
Twelve years later... - "Why do they call you Fishkiller?" - "Oh, my dad used to take me fishing when I was little."