Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter decided it was a good day to put a bath bomb in the aquarium so the fish could have a relaxing bath with cool pink water. She didn’t know the fish would end up being killed. She’s 16. FML
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML
Today, I finally found out why my fish were dying in their tank. My younger sister had been spraying detergent in there because she wanted "to make the fish smell like lemons". FML
Today, I saw my cat playing in the other room. Fascinated, I watched him for a few minutes before I realized he was playing with one of my daughter's fish. Well, what was left of it. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter put her grow-in-water salamander in my fish tank. The residue from the toy gummed up the filter and killed all the fish. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Since the fish are already cleaned, may as well have your husband make dinner. Fish, anyone?
SirCharles83 13
Sounds like your husband will be sleeping with the fish.
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Comments (158)
Kiki242 19
Your husband is stupid.Nuff said.
chilearmy123 4
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chilearmy123 4
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walmartpaysme 15
I wouldn't say stupid. Just irresponsible.
Futacy 30
... and your daughter?
CheeseTron 15
18- Given the fact that nothing was further mentioned about the daughter, we can only assume that she is perfectly fine and in good health.
TBelle4Ever 15
18, she might also be only 4 years old
_Oblivion_ 12
Who could have possibly mixed up soaps when cleaning fish? This is complete nonsense, you have to use dishwasher fluid and hot water combo. My god children these days, not knowing how to clean fish. Psh.
AtoZnumbersand_ 1
I agree with 1#. The Dad does sound stupid. I hate when people start stories with 'I asked my husband/boyfriend to watch our child...' Um, he's not the babysitter. Does he ask you to watch your kids when he goes out? Or is it just assumed that as an adult and a parent it is part of your responsibility to care for your own kid? I'm not saying the father did anything horribly wrong, but it should not be put down to 'goofy dad makes quirky mistake'. He sounds like he doesn't have much experience watching his own kid which is a huge problem.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
76- I think it's a bit harsh to say he's stupid or even irresponsible. It's not like he left the kid at home alone to go buy drugs; he just fell asleep. When I was a kid, my dad fell asleep all the time. I got into some mischief, but I wouldn't say he was a bad dad. Just sleepy.
berichsoon 11
76- I read you comment twice and still doesn't make sense. Chill out, you are so mad that you have no clue what you are saying.
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
OP's daughter is obviously only little.
simonsaysYDI 8
I agree with you there 81. My parents were divorced and my dad was working 2 jobs to stay on his feet, but we'd spend weekends with him. He often fell asleep in the middle of the day and my brother and I got into everything. A couple examples being my brother electrocuting himself and my mom walking in one day as I was tearing up my mattress with kitchen knives. Best parenting? Definitely not. Irresponsible, kinda.. but he was working his ass off so he could afford to see his kids. Taking a nap doesn't make you a bad parent, and it definitely does not make you stupid. My brother and I are still alive and well... even with the tiny scars on our lips from when we tried to shave while my dad was asleep.
desireev 18
Says the one who said "Nuff said", and, obviously, doesn't have a space bar on their keyboard.
desireev 18
"Or is it just assumed that as an adult and a parent, it is part of your responsibility to care for your own kid?" Uuummm... YEAH! It IS your responsibility, as a parent, to care for your own kid. Dimwit! I'm not saying, by any means at all, that the dad is stupid for taking a nap. Parents take naps. It's a given. It WILL happen. They don't happen when you want them to, most of the time... But they'll happen. Dad was probably tired from working or something. It's not the end of the world. At least, the kid didn't do too much damage. The point of my comment was to point out the most stupid thing I've ever seen on the Internet. Which is, it is, in fact, YOUR responsibility, as a parent, to care for YOUR kid. OP, take it easy on the Hubby. He didn't intentionally fall asleep. Accidents happen. He, probably, learned a lesson from this one and will be more cautious of when he takes his naps. Good luck, OP! :)
SuperGirlTaDa 15
If the point of your comment referred to 76 saying "Or is it just assumed that as an adult and a parent it is part of your responsibility to care for your own kid?" he/she was saying it IS the dads responsibility.. Don't get your panties in a twist. Though I disagree with calling the dad stupid..
MehrunesDagon456 20
Yes, he's not the babysitter. HE'S THEIR F*CKING FATHER!
DocBastard 40
Since the fish are already cleaned, may as well have your husband make dinner. Fish, anyone?
patrickalamo 48
Sweet dreams... Wait He sleeps with the fishes...
perdix 31
Doctor, I'm surprised you dispensed such advice. Wouldn't the family go blind from "thoap poithoning?"* *A Christmas Story
Tay_racer10 3
Five dead fish, four poisoned people, three big messes, two soapy hands, and a husband who is asleep, haha
BRLHP 24
OP look at the bright side, at least you didn't come home to a dead daughter.
FMLTuna 6
Nooooooo. Leave them alone you beasts! You savages! You killed them... you killed them all.
Inheritance 10
Fish fillet anyone? No? Oh well more for me.
gc327072 31
What she order? Fish filet?
Carli_M 8
I would have left so when the husband gets up he can clean it up
CJ0106 1
Lol 68 got thumbed down and 74 got thumbed up for basically the same idea.
ya_momma 4
#8 It's fish, not fishes.
desireev 18
107- Obviously, you didn't get the reference.
CatchMe25 16
107 - actually #8 is technically correct. The plural for fish can be both fish and fishes. Either word works for the phrase they used and I agree with 114...you didn't seem to get the reference
mikeofthunder 13
It's only when someone would say "fishies" that there will be a great cry in all of FML - such as never has been and never will be again.. Everyone shall perish 0.o
MDTeddy 13
Some people aren't allowed to nap.
SirCharles83 13
Sounds like your husband will be sleeping with the fish.
305Miami 0
Lol Godfather movie reference!! :) I just watched it a week ago!
CaptainDoorknob 7
31 - No, really? I was beginning to think it was a Spongebob reference. /sarcasm
IAmNotAnAnimal 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
At least you've got clean fish, clean floor, and a well rested husband?
TellMeWhatsDeath 14
the fish are all dead..the floor might take forever to get rid of depending on carpeting or not..and the husband was the sleeping idiot throughout the whole thing.
TellMeWhatsDeath 14
22- the bubbles on the floor*
Mearemoi 14
This is one event where looking on the bright side isn't going to make anyone happy.
jezmonster7 7
Make your husband clean up the mess then while you take nap :)
AmericanJedhead 10
Wow thats pretty irresponsible, but kids WILL be kids I guess. But enjoy your daughter while she's young:) all the goofy thigs she does
manikkab0o 7
it sounds like she is more mad at the husband for being irresponsible, than at the daughter for being a kid. i would be pissed at him not at the kid.
ShyAnn29 15
I bet she got the idea from an episode of Full House, where Michelle decides to give her fish a bubble bath. "shhh the fish is sleeeeeeping!"
Bekll 31
That's incredibly irresponsible of him. What if she had gotten hurt or worse? A young child must always be watched during the daytime.
berichsoon 11
Fathers know that, but they are just not as good as mothers when it comes to watching kids.
simonsaysYDI 8
Eh.. kids get hurt even with parents keeping a keen eye. I cite an example from my younger brothers youth as he sat on a countertop at 4 years old surrounded by my mother, my older brother (12) and me (11). He somehow managed to dive head first off the counter and hit the floor. We still have no idea what he was desperately trying to escape from.
samasara 20
#7. Naggggggg
perdix 31
. . . and a partridge in a pear tree!
perdix 31
Did I need to write: Five dead fish, One sleeping husband . . . ?
felixcoco11 5
Lol actualy taught of that!!
emeraldisle 30
Tell your husband he can clean it all up since he wasn't doing his job.
holyshitbatman 20
in her defense, maybe they were dirty. she was just trying to help, mom
gracehi 33
So you're a girl! Mystery solved! Any idea what happened between you and your roommate?
jnaust 8
Good eye 50. What did happen with the flatmate?
ediblemuffin 3
If you look at her profile and compare it to the one of the FML, you'll notice this profile has no location while the FML had a location (Illinois). Also this profile says she has 0/1 FML's posted so it can't be the same person.
gracehi 33
Aaaaaaaaw. How disappointing. Damn you, you big fat tease!