Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter decided it was a good day to put a bath bomb in the aquarium so the fish could have a relaxing bath with cool pink water. She didn’t know the fish would end up being killed. She’s 16. FML
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML
Today, I finally found out why my fish were dying in their tank. My younger sister had been spraying detergent in there because she wanted "to make the fish smell like lemons". FML
Today, I saw my cat playing in the other room. Fascinated, I watched him for a few minutes before I realized he was playing with one of my daughter's fish. Well, what was left of it. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter put her grow-in-water salamander in my fish tank. The residue from the toy gummed up the filter and killed all the fish. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Since the fish are already cleaned, may as well have your husband make dinner. Fish, anyone?
SirCharles83 13
Sounds like your husband will be sleeping with the fish.
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Comments (158)
kitkattgirl 2
First sentence explains your mindset: "I asked my husband to watch our daughter..." You don't need to ask your husband to watch his daughter. He's a parent, not a babysitter. You should have just said, "I have to do some errands. I'll be back later." Asking him, like he's incapable of being a father, will only result in him not giving an f. You have a poor perception of him anyway; why should he bother to do anything responsible. You're setting him up for failure with your low expectations of him. Now that you've beaten his ego with your controlling behavior, he just doesn't care anymore. That doesn't completely excuse him for not watching her closely that day, but it's obvious he's had it being portrayed as the stupid, irresponsible dad and husband. Was this the man your married and fell in love with? The one who couldn't watch his daughter for a few hours. I doubt any woman would marry a man like that. The more you control and belittle him, the more he's going to change into an immature, deadbeat dad. Asking him to watch your child...wow. Maybe you should stop feeling superior to your husband and act like he is responsible and has a brain. You will be surprised how he will step it up. Not many people will like what I just said, including OP. But if you want a responsible husband, treat him as such. Or your marriage will never last.
shawnagreenbean1 9
Are you for real? It could have been simple like "Hey, I'm going out, keep an eye on -insert child's name here-" more like letting him know she was leaving and wouldn't be there to watch their daughter so he has to, you know? I'm not sure why everyone's getting so hung up on how she worded this FML. Anyway, dad made a mistake. Parents get tired! Kinda irresponsible, yes, but that doesn't call for being after his head. It could have ended more tragically than five dead fish and a soapy mess, but it didn't. So settle down, guys.
NerdiMe3 0
I don't know whether to say that your life sucks or you deserved it for putting a man in charge...
vbmg152 19
I learned this lesson when my kids were small! I'd never leave them with their Dad, Dads sleep & let them do whatever! Mine are grown now but, I still remember the last time he "watched" them for me! It was a disaster!
OhMeShell 3
My brother did this when he was little. He said "the fish needed a bath."
cinnamondemon 8
Husbands... :P
cryssycakesx3 23
why do you have to ask your husband to "watch" his kids?
darklord12131 2
you have every right to be mad he should have got off his butt and watched her while you where gone