Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter decided it was a good day to put a bath bomb in the aquarium so the fish could have a relaxing bath with cool pink water. She didn’t know the fish would end up being killed. She’s 16. FML
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML
Today, I finally found out why my fish were dying in their tank. My younger sister had been spraying detergent in there because she wanted "to make the fish smell like lemons". FML
Today, I saw my cat playing in the other room. Fascinated, I watched him for a few minutes before I realized he was playing with one of my daughter's fish. Well, what was left of it. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter put her grow-in-water salamander in my fish tank. The residue from the toy gummed up the filter and killed all the fish. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Since the fish are already cleaned, may as well have your husband make dinner. Fish, anyone?
SirCharles83 13
Sounds like your husband will be sleeping with the fish.
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Comments (158)
Shadowvoid 33
Maybe your daughter beat him up and knocked him out.
Hershey903 5
Literally sleeping with the fishes.
scrappy23 4
If one more person says he's going to be sleeping with the fishes.....
TrollRoaster 0
He's not going to be sleeping with the fishes
SystemofaBlink41 27
17- technically, you just said it... So I'd be glad if you could finish that sentence to see what you'd do to yourself...
JulietRose 10
When I was a baby, my dad fell asleep and I painted the basement with my moms lipstick.
MrBond007_fml 6
My dad baby sat me once. He tried to change my diaper, cut to when my mom got home, there was shit everywhere (on the walls, on the floor, in the bathroom, on his clothes) but he did manage to clean me up and put a clean diaper on me.
MissMae93 23
41 - That definitely wasn't as cute as 20's story...
MrBond007_fml 6
Yah well... Shit happens. I also once stole one of my moms hair pins and tried plugging it into a power outlet when she wasn't looking. My parents were almost as shocked as I was. That story was totally irrelevant, but while we were on the subject of mischievous kids, I decided to share.
kezzamumma 3
I hate when fathers do that, I hope he learnt a lesson
hopsinlove17 26
*learned
jnaust 8
Technically either learned or learnt is right
TrollRoaster 0
21- i dont think fathers let their kid bubble up everything, kill 5 fish all while their sleaping very often. At least...i hope not
TrollRoaster 0
*sleeping
green2go 14
I bet not (in his mind) she learned her lesson lol
ohyamp 0
Your floor is clean now lol
one11oh 2
fishy situation
celine21_fml 0
I see what you did there
ObeyStudKing 4
Your daughter reminds me of what my niece would do lol. Kids enjoy them while their little :-) .
TheTallPerson 3
You're a swagfag, wasteyutte.
kotana191 8
look on the bright side. you don't need to wash your floors, no more taking care of some dirty fish and your husband is well rested.
outstandtacular 11
I believe you need to take your daughter with you from now on, lol.