Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend, who’s a massage therapist, if he could help my mom with her chronic migraines by massaging her head and neck. My dad came home, saw them in the dimly lit room and knocked my boyfriend out cold for "touching his woman." My boyfriend dumped me and wants my dad arrested. FML
Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML
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Top comments
greeneye_fml 12
Cockblocked by Richard Simmons.
SkoomaKi 28
Troll dad always wins! Unless put against Troll mom.
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Comments (184)
Arrawyn 12
Dick move by your dad, huge dick move
angelofsaturn 23
just remember this when it's time to pick a nursing home for dear old dad
THE_A_TEEN 28
At least those weren't posters of Justin Bieber. Oh who the **** am I kidding, Richard Simmons is more Flaming than Bieber. (shudders)
MrSassypants 34
More flaming? Is this your way of secretly calling Richard Simmons and Justin Beiber hot? I'll have my eyes on you and your subliminal messages.
tschneid 0
Your a dumbass because sex cures headaches
MrSassypants 34
You're* and you forgot a period. Before calling people a dumbass for something that is not known by many people, you should check your spelling first so people won't correct you and make you seem idiotic.
THE_A_TEEN 28
YOU'RE the bigger dumb-arse because you failed you put the wrong you're/your in the right place, and use no form of punctuation.
MrSassypants 34
Hey A_Teen. You missed a spot. (With the punctuation.)
THE_A_TEEN 28
Where? Damn it, Sassy. WHERE?
kittenvks 11
After you failed a teen
kittykat1501 31
" because you failed you"
thermdiz 3
Suuuuuuure your dad did that
Pandacupcakelove 26
Wow, your dad really does his very best to ruin your life, doesn't he?
bigbadtim 7
Time for you to start sweating to the oldies.
NagatoPain 4
How is this a YDI when it was his dads fault?? Thumbs down haters
1crabbygirl 10
I did what you said-ThUmBs DoWn!!!
e30scott 0
If you want to get laid, you shouldn't be living with your parents.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Or his parents could try to be reasonable and understanding...
banjkazfan 6
Wow, really? Parents can be "understanding" to him having sex? If you're not independent enough to drive somewhere for privacy, and you have to ask Daddy if your girlfriend can sleep over, you don't deserve "understanding". Frankly, this kid sounds too young and irresponsible to be bumpin'
banjkazfan 6
Bumping uglies. Sorry, phone fart.
perdix 31
Your girlfriend suddenly decided she'd rather be "Sweatin' to the Oldies" with your DILF.