Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thinks about long term relationships. He said, "Our relationship is kinda like having a dog. Chances are, your dog is going to die pretty quickly, before you do. Dogs and humans just aren't meant to be together forever." He compared me to a dying dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend of over a year said that being in a relationship is pointless. When I responded that I couldn't picture my life without him, he said he couldn't picture his life without our cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years told me that he sees no future with me. It's alright though, because he says we can still "coast along" until he meets someone else. FML
Today, my boyfriend said we needed to talk. He called me cruel, cold and heartless and that it’s making him reconsider what kind of future we may have together. All because I hate sappy movies and don’t cry on the scenes where the dogs die. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend of 3 years what he thought about marriage in the future. "Who knows? We might meet other people soon." FML
Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered, "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was two years-old, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he isn't sure about me anymore. He said he saw a quote on Facebook that a guy can be with a girl for 10 years, then leave, and be with a girl for one and marry that girl. Meanwhile, I've been planning on the rest of my life with him in my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend rather qualifies as a pet: He loves eating, he hardly ever talks or listens, but he is cuddly, always enjoys having me around and can – within limits - be trained to do useful things. FML
Today, I'm in a relationship with a guy who yells at me everyday for things I didn't do, is in a dead-end job and is not attractive whatsoever, but I can't bring myself to break up with him because he would get to keep the dog. FML
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Top comments
TheKitchenSink 0
I have a friend who got compared to ice cream in a breakup. "Girls are like ice cream...you have to try all the flavors before you choose one"
genius_man16 1
Ok, first off, you should dump him. Secondly, does that make any sense to anyone? Maybe i'm just tired but...
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Comments (102)
Eresbel 0
oh boo hoo. your boyfriend talked about a dog. he wasn't comparing you OR himself to a dog, he was comparing the RELATIONSHIP to that of one between a dog and a human. the FML isn't the comparison, it's that he doesn't think you guys will last.
jesusjr 0
To be fair, a dog is man's best friend
above_the_birds 0
Ouch. Worst analogy/comparison ever. :/ I'm sure you're not like a dying dog at all, hun!
Funnybunny_fml 3
well he didn't come right out and say it... maybe he was comparing you to his trusty companion(the dog) or a girl dog( a bitch) ether way he's kinda a moron.
mf_fml 0
to #5, "ice cream" by raekwon. awesome.
ellebell 0
your boyfriend's theory makes absolutely no sense what so ever
ohhhhshizzz 0
Oh! Guys I get it:) He's saying that you aren't going to last long together. oh bahah, someone want's to break up. Oh & before someone chews me out, I was talking to the people who didn't get it. OP It is a FYL/YDI. I hope he is your EX boyfriend right now.
FrostyNorth 0
I believe he compared your relationship to a dog. They're new and exciting at first, then settle into a comfortable routine, and finally at some point they begin to slow down. Both are very hard to let go of at the end and are mourned after their passing. Sometimes you'll swear you'll never get another one again because losing it is too painful, but eventually you'll heal and love again. That's probably what he meant to say, he's just not great with words.
Djosef_fml 0
Thank you FrostyNorth. I'm astonished the OP failed so hard at understanding that comparaison. @#74 : In that FML, the OP herself dosen't understand, and has to twist the words of her boyfriend to make it soud like he said something different. She probably has self-esteem issues. In the lines of : «Sorry *insert girl name here* I can't lift you in the air. -SO YOU THINK I'M FAT?!?» No, no -*******- no. Stop twisting what people say, then jump to the wrong conclusion so you can feel insulted out of thin air. I have a friend who does that all the time. But I forgive her, I know it's because she has poor self-esteem and she is my friend regardless. Though I will be annoyed by a stranger puting words in other people's mouth and then making a scene. So, OP, YDI. Because you are the one who compared yourself to a dying dog. You boyfriend didn't say that. You did.
Bhetti 0
He might've been implying it will be good while it lasts. But, yeah, he basically doesn't believe that your relationship will last forever.
TBD3 0
#11 is right.