Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thinks about long term relationships. He said, "Our relationship is kinda like having a dog. Chances are, your dog is going to die pretty quickly, before you do. Dogs and humans just aren't meant to be together forever." He compared me to a dying dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend of over a year said that being in a relationship is pointless. When I responded that I couldn't picture my life without him, he said he couldn't picture his life without our cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years told me that he sees no future with me. It's alright though, because he says we can still "coast along" until he meets someone else. FML
Today, my boyfriend said we needed to talk. He called me cruel, cold and heartless and that it’s making him reconsider what kind of future we may have together. All because I hate sappy movies and don’t cry on the scenes where the dogs die. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend of 3 years what he thought about marriage in the future. "Who knows? We might meet other people soon." FML
Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered, "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was two years-old, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he isn't sure about me anymore. He said he saw a quote on Facebook that a guy can be with a girl for 10 years, then leave, and be with a girl for one and marry that girl. Meanwhile, I've been planning on the rest of my life with him in my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend rather qualifies as a pet: He loves eating, he hardly ever talks or listens, but he is cuddly, always enjoys having me around and can – within limits - be trained to do useful things. FML
Today, I'm in a relationship with a guy who yells at me everyday for things I didn't do, is in a dead-end job and is not attractive whatsoever, but I can't bring myself to break up with him because he would get to keep the dog. FML
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Top comments
TheKitchenSink 0
I have a friend who got compared to ice cream in a breakup. "Girls are like ice cream...you have to try all the flavors before you choose one"
genius_man16 1
Ok, first off, you should dump him. Secondly, does that make any sense to anyone? Maybe i'm just tired but...
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Comments (102)
stfuplz_fml 0
first
sanddollar88 0
comment
frootloop25 0
That really sucks...seems like HE'S the dog in the relationship.
Gringo_fml 0
He compared himself love, not you
uhhSavage 22
I thought he compared the relationship. I mean, unless I read the FML wrong.
Drode 0
#1 Take a hint from your name and stfu plz
TheKitchenSink 0
I have a friend who got compared to ice cream in a breakup. "Girls are like ice cream...you have to try all the flavors before you choose one"
suckerz 0
ok that made no sense... your boyfriend is dumb...
genius_man16 1
Ok, first off, you should dump him. Secondly, does that make any sense to anyone? Maybe i'm just tired but...
asmb100 27
It makes sense to me. He's saying no relationship lasts forever, and they probably won't out-live you. He didn't call you a dying dog.
timberM618 0
you should buy a mean dog and have the dog bite his dick off.
Victoria2103 0
Your boyfriend sounds pretty stupid. But you should know not to bring up the long term relationship! It freaks boys out. Wait for them to say something first. :P
Passa 0
I love when people summarise their FMLs at the end, like "he compared me to a dying dog". I wasn't aware the FML readership was so obtuse that this was necessary. And anyway, dogs can live for up to 20 years. Hence your ex-boyfriend sounds like a total dumbass.