Today, some guy I don't know walked up to me and told me that he's determined to sleep with my girlfriend, then walked away while giving me the finger. I've never seen him before in my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML
Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, so I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML
Today, I asked a girl from class out. Not only did she say, "Ew, no way, never, creepo!", but four hours later her boyfriend, who I didn't know about, threatened me with a gun if I ever even looked at his girl again. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML
Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML
Today, I was yelled at and fired by my boss. He claimed that I've been sleeping with his wife. I've never met his wife. FML
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Top comments
coming back in the future 30
I bet he's determined to give your girlfriend 'the finger' too.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Well, at least he gave you fair warning. That's more than most of us get.
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Comments (62)
lexiieeex3 32
Shit man your girlfriend better watch out
gotaplanstan 28
interesting nickname to give op lol
coming back in the future 30
I bet he's determined to give your girlfriend 'the finger' too.
coming back in the future 30
hi
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Well, at least he gave you fair warning. That's more than most of us get.
thawny_fml 21
OP didn't beat the shit out of him. Typical beta. Waiting for the "my girlfriend cheated on me FML".
TH_Insomniak 15
right, I'd've thrown one right then and there just as a warning. better not even say a rude word about my girlfriend, let alone say something like that lol.
BrokeCantaloupe 10
I'd run like fuuuck
Ldeliveryman 3
L
Mynamewontfi 40
Maybe your girlfriend knows who it was.
aruden 25
either that or the dude was just ******* with him
ezrocks4u 29
Well, now if he actually ***** your girl, **** him up. He gave a warning, therefore he won't need one from you.
Yodaddy52 7
I misread this. I thought you were gonna say you'd **** HIM lol
coming back in the future 30
Threesome?
Ldeliveryman 3
L
sturschaedel 27
Looks like your girlfriend has a stalker. Better warn her about him and make sure she is safe.
idk_rose 25
At least you have a girlfriend ? Jk. Call the cops on this one.
XxDanno316xX 27
Hello 911?! This man, he, he.. threatened to have sex with my girlfriend. Send all the troops!
gobiteme2 34
Had a girlfriend.