Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thinks about long term relationships. He said, "Our relationship is kinda like having a dog. Chances are, your dog is going to die pretty quickly, before you do. Dogs and humans just aren't meant to be together forever." He compared me to a dying dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend of over a year said that being in a relationship is pointless. When I responded that I couldn't picture my life without him, he said he couldn't picture his life without our cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years told me that he sees no future with me. It's alright though, because he says we can still "coast along" until he meets someone else. FML
Mr. Robot
Today, my boyfriend said we needed to talk. He called me cruel, cold and heartless and that it’s making him reconsider what kind of future we may have together. All because I hate sappy movies and don’t cry on the scenes where the dogs die. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend of 3 years what he thought about marriage in the future. "Who knows? We might meet other people soon." FML
Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered, "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was two years-old, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML
Empathy
Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML
Goddammit, Facebook!
Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he isn't sure about me anymore. He said he saw a quote on Facebook that a guy can be with a girl for 10 years, then leave, and be with a girl for one and marry that girl. Meanwhile, I've been planning on the rest of my life with him in my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML
Good boy
Today, I realized my boyfriend rather qualifies as a pet: He loves eating, he hardly ever talks or listens, but he is cuddly, always enjoys having me around and can – within limits - be trained to do useful things. FML
Pros and cons
Today, I'm in a relationship with a guy who yells at me everyday for things I didn't do, is in a dead-end job and is not attractive whatsoever, but I can't bring myself to break up with him because he would get to keep the dog. FML
Top comments
TheKitchenSink 0
I have a friend who got compared to ice cream in a breakup. "Girls are like ice cream...you have to try all the flavors before you choose one"
genius_man16 1
Ok, first off, you should dump him. Secondly, does that make any sense to anyone? Maybe i'm just tired but...
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Comments (102)
Devonta2008 0
they guy a tool ma. He just told you that he doesnt think you two are going to be together for two long. I think you ned to stop ******* with little boy ad get a man
analo_fml 8
ouch.. he's the dog. what an asshole
naneppi 0
Yes, as the reasonable people who left comments have already pointed out, he was comparing the relationship to a dog. Not you, not him. Don't fly into a panic and try to twist his metaphor's meaning into something vile in order to make yourself into some sort of victim. Your boyfriend was being plainly realistic. Relationships are very rarely lifelong, and quite often they'll be short-lived. In that sense, the -relationship- is often like a pet. If one is serious, a dog or so. Hey, be happy you two don't form a metaphorical hamster. Or a metaphorical fish.
Mz12 0
#11 has it right... He just means that your relationship will die before you guys do...
AliciaS_fml 0
i think 39 and 42 are missing the point. this girl's boyfriend just compared their relationship to a DYING DOG. he said its like a dog, and that ultimately it is going to die before they do, which means it IS dying # 39. and 42 has a good point that the boyfriend was being realistic, but im sure it was still upsetting to like this boy so much and hear such a sad analogy.
JBiz_fml 0
@45 - Reality does tend to hurt.
MukyDaCookie 0
None of that makes any sense, but waht I got was that he doesn't want a long term relationship.
ohhhhshizzz 0
#34: I can see someone has some unresolved issues that you need to work out with a psychiatrist. But funny nonetheless. And SOMEWHAT true.
JBiz_fml 0
@34 - You speak the truth , BUT you also come off as a psycho.
noshitsherlock 0
it's not F your life. Just dump his dumb ass. Problem solved!