Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML
Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML
Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said sex. She told me to grow up and ask for something more realistic. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, my six year-old son asked me, "Dad, what's a glory hole?" FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
Today, I told my 15 year-old son that I was taking my wife to a fancy restaurant for her birthday, so he would be on his own tonight. Most teenagers would play video games, watch porn, and sneak a beer, which I would be okay with. He started crying and asked why he was "left out", then clung to my wife's leg. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML
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Top comments
domking1315 20
Man knows what he wants
cyanidesandwich 21
All I want for my birthday are big booty hoes...
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Comments (135)
martin8337 36
This FML needs a follow-up, especially if you get him one, which I would if he was my son.
Nyx7 24
Don't you just love kids nowadays...
ShitHappen_fml 15
Kids these days! what'ya gonna do?!!
ooft 8
And this ladies and gentlemen is what 2 Chainz does to your kids
dustin007 15
UR sons a keeper
EvilLittleMan 23
Follow through by purchasing a garden hoe and putting a nice bright bow on it. Present the hoe to your son on the B Day with a card that reads: Son, you are saying it wrong. It's hoe not *****. Happy B Day. Love, Dad.
homes7d 14
Well you better get one for him then
Dumbledora 9
Just get him a Realdoll. Pretty much the same thing.
Sakuraashita 15
Any chance he meant horse? Otherwise FYL big time you've got the next Charlie Sheen on your hands!
Sal_Plissken 18
Well, if you live near OBT you could make his wish come true.