Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML
Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML
Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said sex. She told me to grow up and ask for something more realistic. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, my six year-old son asked me, "Dad, what's a glory hole?" FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
Today, I told my 15 year-old son that I was taking my wife to a fancy restaurant for her birthday, so he would be on his own tonight. Most teenagers would play video games, watch porn, and sneak a beer, which I would be okay with. He started crying and asked why he was "left out", then clung to my wife's leg. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML
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Top comments
domking1315 20
Man knows what he wants
cyanidesandwich 21
All I want for my birthday are big booty hoes...
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Comments (135)
rsg0001 15
That is every boys dream
rsg0001 15
Hands don't always do the trick.
nider 19
I thought “maybe he meant horse”, but then again that's not really a mistake one should be making at 12.
alanharvey15 13
sound like some one need a talk and maybe set straight never call a girl a ***** you might not like what will happen next
Jamaican_Domo 10
He's the real mvp
myrle0 11
Its ur reflection indeed! :-D
MrSweeps 5
It's your fault for raising him that way, to even know what that shit is. He's a product of his upbringing, reap what you've sown.
MiaTheMartian 21
Please raise him to be respectful and not view people as objects.
annarcheer 19
get him Justin bieber..
bombielol 20
get the boy what he wants