Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were, "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my senior dance dancing with this guy I really like. He was telling me how he likes a strong woman who's not afraid to make the first move. Empowered by what he said, I asked him out. He said no because he thinks girls shouldn't ask guys out. FML
Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML
Today, I asked the guy I like if he wanted to go to lunch tomorrow at a local restaurant. He replied that he doesn't like their food. I think that's a no. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML
Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML
Today, I saw the guy I have a crush on kissing a blonde chick. He'd turned me down because he “wasn’t into blondes”. I’m a blonde myself. When I confronted him about it, he told me, “Oh, I should have been more specific. I’m not into blondes who have a face like Sid the Sloth and a body like Shamu.” FML
Today, I was texting the guy I like. I asked him why our friend didn't want to come to the movies with us. He replied, "She didn't want to be the third wheel, but it's not like I'm going to put the moves on you. I'm out of your league, and you're socially awkward anyway." That's just what I wanted. FML
Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
olpally 33
Slap him for being rude. Geeze, that's cold.
okokalright 15
You will find someone eventually. Unfortunately, people can be ******* assholes that are probably insecure themselves.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (181)
worldclassrager 41
Not mature enough for a date...plain and simple...
Grayness_ 26
What did you even see in the guy ?
talking_toilet 19
I'm going to say this: he shouldn't have called you a whale that was a complete douche canoe of a move but if you are over weight and he just would've said I don't date people who are over weight that would be okay
faifai_fml 21
Actually instead of making a judgement call that 'he doesn't date people who are overweight', even if they're amazing and gorgeous and funny and smart and confident and fabulous, a simple "i'm not attracted to you" would have sufficed.
M3_Supr3m3 7
if you ever talk to him again, let him know clearly it wasnt meant to be because you dont do fucktards
Mahcookiez 15
He could've said no politely, but that's not how the world works.
healthcarechick 9
That asshole is a prick and Karma will get his ass!!! And anyone else that says that you deserved it is a stupid ******* prick as well. Opinions are like assholes everybody has one. **** everybody!!!!!!!
BstMode 14
some people should have been swallowed, no need to be a dick, he should have just said no and left it at that
Thursdayxo 16
I applaud you for asking him out in the first place. That takes a lot of heart.
Exsequor 14
I suppose it's an equality win that a woman has the opportunity to be destroyed by rejection as much as a man.
ragingwaffle 8
Haha that's what happens when ur fat