Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were, "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my senior dance dancing with this guy I really like. He was telling me how he likes a strong woman who's not afraid to make the first move. Empowered by what he said, I asked him out. He said no because he thinks girls shouldn't ask guys out. FML
Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML
Today, I asked the guy I like if he wanted to go to lunch tomorrow at a local restaurant. He replied that he doesn't like their food. I think that's a no. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML
Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML
Today, I saw the guy I have a crush on kissing a blonde chick. He'd turned me down because he “wasn’t into blondes”. I’m a blonde myself. When I confronted him about it, he told me, “Oh, I should have been more specific. I’m not into blondes who have a face like Sid the Sloth and a body like Shamu.” FML
Today, I was texting the guy I like. I asked him why our friend didn't want to come to the movies with us. He replied, "She didn't want to be the third wheel, but it's not like I'm going to put the moves on you. I'm out of your league, and you're socially awkward anyway." That's just what I wanted. FML
Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
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Top comments
olpally 33
Slap him for being rude. Geeze, that's cold.
okokalright 15
You will find someone eventually. Unfortunately, people can be ******* assholes that are probably insecure themselves.
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Comments (181)
pranil 14
your life really does suck...good luck kid out there
meegal 12
Here's what you do. You exercise, eat right, and lose weight. You look fantastic. Then next time he sees you rub it in his face what that jerk is missing out on. Not only will you feel amazing about showing him up but you'll also feel amazing because you're a lot healthier. You'll look and feel better so you aren't only doing this for that one guy, you do this for YOU ok? There's always time for some self improvement!
KazikPalec 9
Aa
Mooglefox 24
You should have given him a whale slap then
seductrexxx 6
Tell him you're the orca whale and ready to slaughter his ass.
Tyguy823 14
Well that was just harsh for him to say
dianayadira 2
what a **** of a guy. if you are not his type he could have just refused.
radiocaf 29
What an asshole. Brush it off and don't let it affect your confidence. He probably doesn't have the confidence to date someone who may not fall into what society calls attractive. I admire your confidence. Don't let a dick like that change who you are.
clockworkgirl21 8
Rude of him but maybe you should lose weight.
tipsyone 22
Horrible person! Interesting that girls asking guys out in USA seem a lot more common than in Sweden. It's very very rare