Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were, "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my senior dance dancing with this guy I really like. He was telling me how he likes a strong woman who's not afraid to make the first move. Empowered by what he said, I asked him out. He said no because he thinks girls shouldn't ask guys out. FML
Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML
Today, I asked the guy I like if he wanted to go to lunch tomorrow at a local restaurant. He replied that he doesn't like their food. I think that's a no. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML
Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML
Today, I saw the guy I have a crush on kissing a blonde chick. He'd turned me down because he “wasn’t into blondes”. I’m a blonde myself. When I confronted him about it, he told me, “Oh, I should have been more specific. I’m not into blondes who have a face like Sid the Sloth and a body like Shamu.” FML
Today, I was texting the guy I like. I asked him why our friend didn't want to come to the movies with us. He replied, "She didn't want to be the third wheel, but it's not like I'm going to put the moves on you. I'm out of your league, and you're socially awkward anyway." That's just what I wanted. FML
Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
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Top comments
olpally 33
Slap him for being rude. Geeze, that's cold.
okokalright 15
You will find someone eventually. Unfortunately, people can be ******* assholes that are probably insecure themselves.
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Comments (181)
9a_1z 12
Whales are awesome, they are fascinating, people go out on boats to see them and many find it a truly touching experience. This guy will only ever be a douchebag, no-one goes out on boats to see those.
baseballfan1996 6
Then do something to change that and make him eat his words. Silent revenge is the best revenge
EDGE1095 20
hahahahhahaha xD you should drown him in the ocean!
wdunh69733 24
It's better to find out early on he's a jerk. And you i doubt you're a whale. Sure, probably not wafer thin but let's be honest, I learned curves are easy to hug
Marynfrankie 19
How do you make whale noises?? lol
turkey_gobble 5
He doesn't deserve you. You sure dodged a bullet there.
Mirsen1727 12
OMG Who does that?! I'm so sorry that happened to you! I am a firm believer in karma, sit back and watch karma handle him. I personally would have slapped the hell out of him but, you are clearly a stronger person. Sweetie, the right man will come along who sees the true beauty in you inside and out. Not everyone is as ugly as he is. Remember he's just a douche and you are beautiful.
RandomLG94 21
That's like when my then-boyfriend asked me to prom and when I said yes he said "oh never mind I forgot they don't serve enough water for whales there" -.-
bronxiecat777 14
Oh whale
Alexandria79 22
*hugs* you're a beautiful person who deserves better