Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were, "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my senior dance dancing with this guy I really like. He was telling me how he likes a strong woman who's not afraid to make the first move. Empowered by what he said, I asked him out. He said no because he thinks girls shouldn't ask guys out. FML
Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML
Today, I asked the guy I like if he wanted to go to lunch tomorrow at a local restaurant. He replied that he doesn't like their food. I think that's a no. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML
Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML
Today, I saw the guy I have a crush on kissing a blonde chick. He'd turned me down because he “wasn’t into blondes”. I’m a blonde myself. When I confronted him about it, he told me, “Oh, I should have been more specific. I’m not into blondes who have a face like Sid the Sloth and a body like Shamu.” FML
Today, I was texting the guy I like. I asked him why our friend didn't want to come to the movies with us. He replied, "She didn't want to be the third wheel, but it's not like I'm going to put the moves on you. I'm out of your league, and you're socially awkward anyway." That's just what I wanted. FML
Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
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Top comments
olpally 33
Slap him for being rude. Geeze, that's cold.
okokalright 15
You will find someone eventually. Unfortunately, people can be ******* assholes that are probably insecure themselves.
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Comments (181)
Face344 7
Sounds like you were aiming out of your league, which is good I guess for confidence but you need to try an make your league bigger by working on yourself.
MadoromiTenshi 9
What the bloody hell!!! He could have at least said no a lot nicer... Like for example "Sorry, I'm not interested. Thank you for the offer though" then smile and walk away. He is just a jerk face!
ThreeSheets 14
Hey, I always say we can lose weight, but you can't lose being a douche. And why can't all these fit people who look down on us, ask us to go to the gym with them or help us with nutrition, you might end up finding a true friend that will have your back, no matter what. I mean, you aren't born buff and strong, And if anyone makes fun of you, they are the ones with problems. Sometimes it's feeling alone and not having great self esteem (me) that is our fight, but find out. And who would only want beautiful friends who aren't there when you need them, I would rather have real friends. Peace and be strong, OP- you sound like a person with good self esteem.
megity 0
What a sorry sack of shit. You're so much better off without an awful person like that in your life! Short-term sadness/loneliness is SO much better than the long-term misery a bastard who would treat another person like that would have put you through. Good riddance to bad rubbish
ManiacGoblin46 12
I knew it! Women need to learn beings a turtle is where it's at!
locustbb 9
You shouldn't be asking people like that out. He will get what he deserves in the long run.
JKPwnage 27
I think that's a sign that you need to take better care of your body. Also that that guy's a major douchefuck and you should beat his ass.
abab111 5
You deserve someone more mature, and less ignorant. His loss and you dodged a bullet. Sorry, you didn't deserve it.
feisty_backfired 11
Ugh, set fire to his pant or something.... Sheesh, some people can be so rude...
izcastle 7
Were*