Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were, "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my senior dance dancing with this guy I really like. He was telling me how he likes a strong woman who's not afraid to make the first move. Empowered by what he said, I asked him out. He said no because he thinks girls shouldn't ask guys out. FML
Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML
Today, I asked the guy I like if he wanted to go to lunch tomorrow at a local restaurant. He replied that he doesn't like their food. I think that's a no. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML
Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML
Today, I saw the guy I have a crush on kissing a blonde chick. He'd turned me down because he “wasn’t into blondes”. I’m a blonde myself. When I confronted him about it, he told me, “Oh, I should have been more specific. I’m not into blondes who have a face like Sid the Sloth and a body like Shamu.” FML
Today, I was texting the guy I like. I asked him why our friend didn't want to come to the movies with us. He replied, "She didn't want to be the third wheel, but it's not like I'm going to put the moves on you. I'm out of your league, and you're socially awkward anyway." That's just what I wanted. FML
Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
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Top comments
olpally 33
Slap him for being rude. Geeze, that's cold.
okokalright 15
You will find someone eventually. Unfortunately, people can be ******* assholes that are probably insecure themselves.
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Comments (181)
FML_ThatIsInsane 5
What a shallow prick! Just as well you never went with him, if somebody did that to my friend I would have slapped him hard in the face! I hope you find luck with somebody better next time :)
Badkarma4u 17
and pray he doesn't hit you back
writerchic85 26
Tell him you don't go out with shrimp
sighlifeman 12
shit people tell others to make them want to change everything about themselves, what a ****** up world
EsDeeCee 12
Because being unhealthy is so good
IamHM 14
It's bad for your health to be a bitch, too. Just sayin'
EsDeeCee 12
This will get down voted because most of the people on here are PC liberal faggots but whatever. You clearly brought this on yourself. Either you're weak minded and lazy or you just don't give a **** about dying early. Even if you have a eating disorder, those aren't impossible to overcome. You didn't deserve it but it's your fault it still happened. Come at me politically correct fags
Emirac 10
"you didn't deserve it, but it's still your fault." It's op's fault for being overweight. It isn't her fault that someone was horrible about it. There's no reason to just be rude when completely unprovoked. And who says ****** anymore? You seem to have some kind of anger/behavior problem. ...and by that, I mean you're an asshole
WinterChild 20
He will never get his willy free'd with that attitude.
luvlu444 24
do us all a favour and knee him in the balls. geez what a jerk
withered 30
I cannot imagine what it was you saw in him because it definitely wasn't intelligence, politeness and maturity. Just imagine the girl that might be so unlucky to end up with such a child, not knowing beforehand what an immature prick he is. You dodged a bullet. A big bullet filled with tantrums. At least I believe you cannot expect anything else from people who act like that.
Isn't It Ironic? 24
What a prick. Side note, props to you for being brave enough to ask someone out. I know a lot of other people wouldn't have the confidence to do it (myself included.) But really, if he was that rude as to say that to you, then he's not worth your time. Because even if he was joking, it was still rude. Plain and simple.
PowerOfDin 15
That amazes me. You had the guts to ask a guy out and face this. Op, I could never do what you did. Hats to you!
bapbap_fml 15
You don't want to date such an insensitive asshole anyways. Sometimes it's almost like they do us a favour by showing their true asshole colours right away. Better to find out sooner rather than later. You'll find the right guy, OP! :)