Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Scary
Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML
Jump scare
Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML
Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML
Today, I asked out a girl I like to a movie. She said "I hate babysitting." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML
Today, I went to the cinema with a girl I like. Knowing she has a bit of a soft spot for me, I was keen to sit in the back row. Too bad her sister tagged along, insisted that we sit somewhere else, and scolded me every time I so much looked at her. I ended up paying for the unwanted guest as well. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Spooky season special
Today, I was having a movie night with my significant other. I suggested a classic horror movie binge, and she agreed. However, as soon as the movie started, she fell asleep and started snoring louder than a chainsaw. It's hard to take scary movies seriously with the sounds of a chainsaw going on, I tell you. FML
Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML
Top comments
kut17 11
Did she let you stay in her arms?
Pandacupcakelove 26
Aww.. Well, I wouldn't judge you! Horror movies are scary no matter what sex you are!
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Comments (136)
Welshite 40
Should've stuck with a romantic comedy.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Romcom ftw :)
mario2012 18
Oh irony...
Mister_Triangle 21
*calculating* *calculating* *calculating* I have determined that this situation IS in fact ironic. You're being downvoted by people who don't know any better.
Vidrill 22
Maybe if you're lucky she'll see this as a sign that you're not afraid to show when you're scared and don't act all "macho" all the time. It's a good quality for a guy I think. :)
bendovver 6
Red your hairs on fire! Love it!
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
I bet you didn't get any pussy that night either
Pogox 5
Douche.
Branflakes78 13
first date and already thinking pussy? wtf wouldnt you want to get to know the person before you move to fast
Branflakes78 13
before you do it*
emeraldisle 30
YDI for assuming she'd be scared during a horror film.
janeska1231 1
Lmfao. I guess u were in her arms all night.
OldMemoriesFade 8
Maybe she likes a guy who can express his feelings? Or is into a guy screaming.
perdix 31
I'm sure your date was impressed with your misogynistic slur referring to your cowardice. I find it ironic that a pussy which can stretch to many times its original size is associated with cowardice, while the balls, organs that caused vomit-inducing pain if lightly struck, symbolize courage
rattusrattus 19
I like to think the OP was yowling like a scared cat all the way through. Hopefully with hissing and snarling. (Also, vulvas are equally as delicate as scrotums, they're just a lot harder to hit. Unfortunately... mine got hit once. Oww.)
agonydrum 7
I think the misogysim here stems more from a comparison between high levels of testosterone vs. estrogen, not the physical characteristics or elasticity of genitals, and fyi if you want to see elasticity look at how low an old mans balls hang
Enslaved 38
25, Being someone that has had my vulva hit more than once, :P I can't agree with your statement. Perhaps you were speaking about another female part?
SkoomaKi 28
#40 - Probably the ******, that thing can take a pounding.
gc327072 31
"I don't get this whole thing with 'grow some balls'. Balls are weak, and sensitive. You really oughta grow a ******, those things can take a pounding!" -Betty White
rattusrattus 19
@40: Masturbation accident. Had a very sharp scratchy bit on my fingernail which I only discovered when I jabbed it into my ********. I have also been kicked there. It seems to be the sweet spot, but like I said it's a lot harder to hit. @Thread: The use of 'pussy' as an insult stems from femmephobia; the misogynistic belief that if a man does something feminine, it lowers him (and vise versa, it's slightly more acceptable to be a masculine woman than an effeminite man). So not only did the OP assume the woman would be scared and desire cuddles, he then continues this assumption by use of the word 'pussy'.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Apparently few people know this, but the term 'pussy' originated from the word 'pusillanimity', another word for cowardice.
agonydrum 7
No it didn't
agonydrum 7
"Pussy" originated from the low German word puse which was a name for vulva, pusillanimity does mean cowardice but it isn't the root of "pussy"
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
It is the reason felines were commonly called pussycats. They sure as **** weren't meant to be called vaginas.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Figured that's why being a pussy means you're a coward, and not a woman's genitalia.
agonydrum 7
The term pussycat may have come from that word but that doesn't necessarily mean that the word pussy meaning a ******, a woman, or a coward did, perhaps however it came from both origins..
olpally 33
Lmao... Next time, take her to a romantic comedy, if there is a next time... Lol.
ElricMustang 23
It wasn't Resident Evil was it? Because that'd be sad. But don't try doing something like that if you're not good with horror films