Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML
Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML
Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML
Today, I asked out a girl I like to a movie. She said "I hate babysitting." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML
Today, I went to the cinema with a girl I like. Knowing she has a bit of a soft spot for me, I was keen to sit in the back row. Too bad her sister tagged along, insisted that we sit somewhere else, and scolded me every time I so much looked at her. I ended up paying for the unwanted guest as well. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I was having a movie night with my significant other. I suggested a classic horror movie binge, and she agreed. However, as soon as the movie started, she fell asleep and started snoring louder than a chainsaw. It's hard to take scary movies seriously with the sounds of a chainsaw going on, I tell you. FML
Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML
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Top comments
kut17 11
Did she let you stay in her arms?
Pandacupcakelove 26
Aww.. Well, I wouldn't judge you! Horror movies are scary no matter what sex you are!
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Comments (136)
MoNnEy_MiiTE 3
Looks like your the girl here
noisebox 1
Keep that kind of thing up and you won't get no pussy that's for sure : 0
captainObviously 15
My thoughts exactly
DocBastard 40
Didn't think that one through too well, did you genius? Was this the first scary movie you'd ever seen? Maybe you should stick to the Muppet movie. Besides, smart guys know that the way to a woman's heart is through her funny bone, not by scaring the shit out of her.
captainObviously 15
After all that OP still didnt get to cuddle!!!
jmcr 27
Dude if youre going to act tough try not to scream
jarockstar27 10
Is she still willing to go out? Maybe she is more understanding then you think...
ManInTheMachine 20
You would've been better off wooing her with some cheesy pick-up line. OP: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? OP: When you crawled out of hell? Works every time.
Welshite 40
I would never have thought that calling the girl you like a demon would be the best pick-up line to use. I'm going to try it right now. Wish me luck!
OhDearBetrayal 25
My, I'm so flattered. That pick up line wasn't even directed at me and yet I feel myself attracted to you. What is this wizardry?
angel_of_death55 7
Good luck
Cethryn 5
She might have thought it was cute, so don't down yourself. :)
brandoneyez1 25
I'm guessing you were kicked to the curb cause you're not a man!! I laugh at scary movies.. So which movie was that scary???
captainObviously 15
Quit pussy-footin around!