Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after the last few months of my sister living with me while she finds her feet, I asked if she could help me out by doing the washing up. Half an hour later, I walked into knee high dish soap foam in the kitchen. My sister was right in the middle, trying to sculpt dicks. She's 20. FML
Today, my brother ran in, handed me a spatula, and told me to stand still. Barely a second later, our sister came tearing in the house with a fresh, raised welt on her ass cheek in the shape of said spatula, saw me holding said spatula, and kicked my ass up and down the house until I escaped. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, I tried to prank my brother with the butter floor prank after coming back from work. As a result, my brother stepped out of ER with an arm cast, stitches on his head and a neck collar. FML
Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML
Today, my brother sprayed the entire kitchen, including all the dishes, with industrial strength spray adhesive, thinking it was disinfectant. I'm the one who got to clean it up. FML
Today, my sister asked me to grab her some toilet paper. I refused, so she grabbed my favorite shirt out of the laundry basket and used it to wipe. I was busy icing my sprained ankle. I couldn't walk. She knew this. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
iseyixes 18
What a good age to experiment! The good ole days!!!!
The1CalledGOAT 11
so, you are upset that you missed all the greasing up action?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (85)
Mopmob02 18
Well aren't they adventurous, next time they should try making a slip and slid. Wooden floors aren't the best but they sure get the job done!
chellytiger 12
I don't know exactly how to rate this. I mean what exactly is he deserving and his life only sucks because he's the working age instead of the greasing up and sliding age.
Enslaved 38
Indoor Slip and Slide!
cpucooler 4
Have you got any grease, woman? Well then, grease me up!
suboy 10
Slippery situation. There i said it. Lol
ViviMage 40
Actually olive oil and lemon is heathy for your floors as a natural polish. Butter? No.
ICastillo 25
Yeah it's all fun and games until somebody loses a nipple.... But the real question here is did it work?
cptmorgan6 8
The thought of losing a nipple....ughhh damn you for saying that!
ICastillo 25
Well imagine nipple less it would not be cool man.
mykelinva 4
Damn I'm getting old. The first thought that went through my mind was, "Those joints in the hardwood must be smooth and tight. Wish mine were like that..." :-)
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Brother bowling! Always a good past time.
winkydog4056 16
Lol! That's pretty funny...until it comes time to clean off the butter & oil.