Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the 4 year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl." Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML
Today, I told my 8 year-old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she's ugly. FML
Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, my daughter didn't clean the bathroom today, even though I told her yesterday that she needed to do it. She claims she forgot, because, she’s "slept since then.” FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML
Today, my daughter was putting clothes in the drier when she yelled, "Mom!! The drier won't start!" I had to explain to her that the door needed to be shut. Her response, "Oh. I didn't know that mattered." She's 15. FML
Today, my daughter had an anxiety attack. Why? Because I told her she needs to be making her bed every day. FML
Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML
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Top comments
saIty 17
Her new name is now Catherine Obvious.
Yargnit_fml 1
Jade: we gotta get out of here! Tori: yeah. thank you. katharine obvious! Trina: what? Tori: i said, thank you katharine obvious! Robbie: did she say KATHARINE obvious? Andre: it’s captain obvious.. Tori: huh? Jade: the expression is thank you CAPTAIN obvious. Tori: it’s not katharine? Trina: no. Beck: who would katharine be? Tori: katharine could be a captain.
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Comments (195)
kewlone645 8
nice kid. haha
Mahomie123 0
No problem Sargent sarcasm (;
nixter5 18
You learn a lot of important stuff in kindergarten.
FailBear920 19
It be funnier if she said "No shit sherlock!"
fakeaccountX 6
Chill out, that's adorable. At least she didn't swear.
DrIDGAF 7
Punch her?
enonymous 9
Is there a new Dora the explorer character called captain obvious I don't know about? or is this kid just plain awesome?
LiveLaughFML 10
i am going to be nice to your kid. she may end up being my boss one day.
Keyman1212 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
She could have said 'No shit Sherlock'. You should be happy that she isn't that corrupted.
humorizer 14
inb4 fml user, "Captain Obvious" makes his obligatory post.
tj4234 36
what was the point in that comment 45?
allisonbredow 0
She's gotta learn young!
SirObvious 1
Who's this "Captain Obvious"?
FarSide 23
Her next obvious observation would have been me whipping her damn ass with a belt.
ihasbrains 10
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but are four year olds even capable of cleaning their own rooms?
enonymous 9
95 - I was told I was in charge of cleaning the house while still in the womb... I still cleaned everything and left mints on the pillow too. Oh yes I did windows too.
LaydiexSkull 3
-96, did you paint the house and put shingles on the roof too?
Ashelizabethh 8
Did you follow up by asking who raised you!?
FarSide 23
@95 If they are old enough to mess it up...
enonymous 9
111 - Yes even when I was born I slapped my own ass and cut the cord. Then I slapped the doctor for dropping me.
sleepRX 16
130- I bet you were handed a Dos Equis right when you came out of the womb. ;)
sleepRX 16
130- I bet you were handed a Dos Equis right when you came out of the womb. ;)
enonymous 9
141 - I already had a little captain in me first ;) and in not talking bout the drink.
6joe9 0
Kids these days :/
jesernoob 13
nice one uhh.... colonel captain?
saIty 17
Her new name is now Catherine Obvious.
XenaWP 6
Jump on that! You don't want her being rude like that.. Or she will turn into a brat.
Yargnit_fml 1
Jade: we gotta get out of here! Tori: yeah. thank you. katharine obvious! Trina: what? Tori: i said, thank you katharine obvious! Robbie: did she say KATHARINE obvious? Andre: it’s captain obvious.. Tori: huh? Jade: the expression is thank you CAPTAIN obvious. Tori: it’s not katharine? Trina: no. Beck: who would katharine be? Tori: katharine could be a captain.
MrSexyPants 14
Thank you 54, for bringing back that great memory that isn't exactly mine but it was hilarious!
ibedestinie 0
lol!! you must be a fan! ; ) thanks for making me laugh.. again
cuddlebunny3548 11
Haha I love that show too!!
XAlizeX 5
Cartoons these days...
Haidee 0
Haha I love that show!:)
autumnxxbottom 0
Somebody's been watching Victorious ;D I love that show haha
pjhahaipoo 0
Haha shes feisty.;)
uffiewuffie 0
You raise them well, OP
supertacowaffle 41
Feisty one you are
wriptidez 0
shed heard that b4
MissBunnyWillEat 11
Nawwww, ya think? I figured she's just an intellectual genius and thought of that on her own.
brianjman14 23
No shit, 4.
HannahJoButtons 2
In the words of the four year old, "thank you captain obvious!"
Ghostkiller12345 9
4:No shit Sherlock -_-
LongLiveAsians 13
Thank you, Captain Obvious!
leonaXD 0
Sorry, but would you go back to fourth grade English?
m3gtrboy 0
They grow up so fast :'P
fmlikecrazy 0
Do you have any older kids? She might have heard it from them. Don't worry, she may still respect you.
dominguez89 6
Beat the fuxkin shit outta that bitc*
saIty 17
I hope you're calling your dong a bitc*. If not go run through traffic naked, and get run over by a bus.
McMike10 1
This is what Russel Peters Is talking about when he says you need to beat your kids
rich203 0
Beat em like they stole somethin
BeastlyFrog 7
"My parents beat my ass." "My parents beat my ass, too!" "Me, too!" "I got sent to my room." "YOU HAVE A ROOM?!"
Lexiloulynn 2
Pugs not drugs! That shirt is from Delia's!:)
KyriosX 1
"Come here girl." "Yeah, mom?" *hits* "What was that for?!" "Just in case."
darkwing119 5
Would you like to get beaten as a kid
Frijolero_92 1
#113 was beaten as a kid. F$&@en hell if I will ever talk back, and I still have the highest love and respect for both of my parents.
GlitteryMasakali 1
Beat em like a boss ;)
fallapart 5
113- Just an fyi, parents beat their kids for discipline. If your parents beat you that's a sign for love. If they didn't care for you they wouldn't have done anything and you could have been a terrible talk backing child. Because they beat you, it shows they want you to become a better person.
shamille 5
Somebody gonna get a hurt real baaaadddd
archman 0
Have fun with that one.
bsharp1 1
Kids say the darnest things. *chuckles*