Today, I thought it would be a good idea to take a short cut driving through the snow. I skidded to avoid an oncoming car and ended up in someone's garden, inches from their brand new extension. The house belonged to a police officer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML
Today, I was doing a job for some people on my street cutting their bushes. After I had finished and went to get my pay, I realized I had gone to the wrong house. They called the police. FML
Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for "impeding a police officer." My car was in my driveway. FML
Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML
Today, I backed out of the driveway of our newly built home. Being unfamiliar with the driveway, I ended up getting bogged in the mud and slid halfway down the steep slope of the front yard, trying free myself. I haven't met my neighbours yet. They stood in their front lawns watching me. FML
Today, I accidentally rear-ended an undercover police car. FML
Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back, and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML
Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slipped. FML
Today, driving out of my neighbourhood, I encountered three snow plows heading towards me. I tried to turn around in a stranger's driveway but wasn't fast enough, and they left a wall 4-feet high of ice and snow, blocking me in. I rang the doorbell, borrowed their shovel and dug out their driveway. Its -32 with wind-chill. FML
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Top comments
Sparx1_1 16
Just because women are better at owning their shit does not suddenly make men better drivers. We rarely get snow in Vancouver so when we got a good dump of it last week things were horrible. Yet what did we see? People driving on snow and black ice as if it was the middle of summer time. Men and women get into the same number of accidents but men are more likely to hit and run while women are more likely to report even mild fender benders that do not need reporting. In this case the OP deserves it for taking a short cut. When the weather is bad - slow the **** down and stay on roads you are familiar with.
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
I hate to add to the mindless sexism that consumes FML, but seriously....it seems like every post that involves shitty driving involves a female. just an observation ladies.
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Comments (102)
eaglesrule96 0
skedalee
mamamiaaa_fml 12
YDI. But since you're there knock on the door. Pretend you're doing a survey. Ask intimate questions. Then threaten to blackmail him. Or run to the car and drive away. That's what I do. Women can drive. ahem.
yake12 0
All I read was "I thought it would be a good idea to..." and instantly hit YDI!
iTaylor 0
nice shades, you two
satomi_ishida 0
24 - I'm pretty sure the cop will be able to see the tell-tale signs of what they did. And since you said "that's what I do" I'm guessing you've done this before? A_a
mfmylifesrsly 30
ugh yet another fml proving women drivers suck!! :(
Marvin_Android 0
Sounds dreadful. Taking shortcuts is pointless, just like anything else you might attempt to do for convenience's sake. Your particular situation also illustrates the stupidity that's typical of your ape-like species. It's enough to make me even more depressed, and I didn't think that was possible. Life. Don't talk to me about life.
mamamiaaa_fml 12
46-You got your shades from Journeys? That's where I. Got mine. On black Friday. And they weren't on sale. 63- Thank you! 64- Yes of course I do that all the time. Do you think I could ever make up something like that?! It's so crazy it has to be true.
nicedevil6 0
ur sexy is there a way I can get contacted with u? if so lemme know bout it
OrginalOwen 0
My girlfriend totaled 3 cars last summer, one of then was mine. :( women can't drive.
dre_bro11 12
never take shortcuts. its that simple. YDI
SoSeductress 0
**** the police they are all sorry believe me I know I was engaged to one...
lexa1love 16
@110 So am I, its more likely that you just had a shitty fiancé.
memo619 0
this is why women shouldn't be out of the kitchen
KrazyKanuk 0
I agree completely
DocBastard 40
The only thing women should be doing in the kitchen for you schmucks is deciding which knife to use to cut off your worthless dicks. You assholes probably go home at night and jerk off to gay **** before crying yourself to sleep. Piss off.
dabest1too 1
agreed^^ (:
FML858 0
agreeeeed.
mamamiaaa_fml 12
okay I just ran to the kitchen. now what.
The_Creeper_fml 8
I think a lot of girls would rather stay in the kitchen than see your face, whoever posted the comment that I am commenting upon.
DocBastard 40
Mamamiaaa - It's an easy 3-step process: 1) Grab knife 2) Plunge knife into misogynist's dangly parts 3) Repeat You're welcome.
memo619 0
lmao gotta love how defense people get it's only a joke, loosen up
mamamiaaa_fml 12
DocBastard I love the way you think mhmmmm.
ChrisSG 0
lol.. this is why I like trolls.. the trap has already been set since he left that sexist comment..
memo619 0
feminist got their panties all up in a bunch
CitrusGirl 0
Memo has his dick up his ass
amerwin 3
Nice move genius.
MizzErikaHart 8
u suck at driving
PuntingYoshi 0
You suck at spelling.
hqureshi 0
You suck at differentiating between spelling and grammar.
starile 20
This is the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
FallinngForYoux3 6
#75. win.
kaplush 0
sucks
apcfan009 0
talk about luck. this should tell you shortcuts fail
purplecowchik 5
Sounds like a slippery situation!!
tjsomethin 9
..... no.....
Liips 0
YDI for not buying snow tires...
Shokz992 0
She lives in Scotland - do you have any idea how often the UK gets heavy snow?
Vo0 0
Best reply ever. Op, FYL, I stay in North Lanarkshire and we have about 2ft in my estate, FML.
BDTM 0
you idiot, you think it's smart to cut someone off coming towards you so you can drive illegally? good job.
KiaMaster 0
snow+you=dead people