Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML
Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML
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Top comments
skorka 5
It's ok, we all mke mistakes sometimes
redbluegreen 41
Does this mean you're on the naughty list?
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Comments (58)
smartman136 8
Its to show them how life and the real world is. Pick them up and slam them down like a one hundred pound line backer.
KiddNYC1O 22
Don't you worry, op, his belly saves his bottom.
ktwynn 6
I once heard a bunch of grotesque bathroom noises coming out of the men's room at the mall and then saw a very relieved looking mall Santa walk out. Good times.
mvc3ftw 17
Mall santa down! Mall santa down!
sgtcxelite 11
If you just walked away and left him there without apologizing, then you deserve it. If you were helping him up and apologizing, then they're all just assholes.
melbaby112 11
Looks like somebody's makin the naughty list this year...enjoy that coal ;)