Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML
Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML
Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML
Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML
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Top comments
AlwayzCelly 13
What a jerk, it was obviously an accident, at least you tried to help him
MysticMonkey 9
At least you went to check on him instead of driving off like so many people have done :)
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Comments (125)
Jharrist89 12
What a dick. There's stupid people who don't pay attention, and they're people who honestly didn't mean it. **** him op..
Ambiguous404 6
Ohh poor cyclist :(( OP YDI should drive more carefully
Perdition25 12
**** cyclists, almost all of them don't obey the rules of the road. If I was a police officer, I'd put a lot more focus on them as they endanger themselves constantly.
DanqGirlxoxo 13
Well , if you lay there motionless , who wouldn't think you were dead ? Asshole. Don't feel bad OP , after that comment he deserves it. FYL indeed. @ Least you tried helping him , that's all that matters. Some people just yell out from their window, "You alright buddy?" And keep on driving. COUGH NEWYORKERS!! (Ive seen it Twice.)
pokemonchick14 12
From the VERY BEGINNING 32?! oh my goodness, quickly everyone, be more appreciative of her comments.
plaasklaas 3
How do you 'accidentally' hit a cyclist? Maybe you should pay more attention to your driving - then you won't have to worry about angry cyclists.
Zomg_Okay 27
51 - The same way you accidentally do anything. Besides, just because OP hit the cyclist doesn't mean OP was the one at fault. For all we know, the cyclist ran a red light or dismounted a footpath without checking for vehicles.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Snarky comment I choose you!
YeahYeahYeahOK 6
If it was the "floor" you have nothing to worry about. I doubt your teacher will give you a bad grade for trying to help the cyclist out. :) God forbid this would have happened on the road or the cyclist might have killed you!
jebi_se 5
No idea why you're all on OP's side. He's obviously an idiot. A floor is in an enclosed area, not on a road. When you get your license you take a test, and on that test you have to know that everyone not in a car has the right of way. You are lucky that you didn't kill the cyclist, lucky all they did was punch you in the face. Maybe now you'll pull your head out of your ass and pay attention to the road.
Death_of_all 14
It could be that the cyclist pulled out of nowhere, you can't just assume. The fact that OP went to check if the guy was ok probably means it was a complete accident, and there was nothing they could do about it. Oh and here in the UK, at least where I'm from, floor can be used interchangeably with ground so OP isn't wrong by saying floor.
rokemay 10
How do you know he wasn't paying attention? People get into accidents all the time while paying attention. That's why they're called accidents. They don't happen on purpose. And even if OP wasn't paying attention, he at least got out of his car to check on the cyclist, who in turn, was a huge asshole
horneyhic 15
That's accually not true yes cars have to share the road but just because ur on the road and not in a car does not automatically give you right of way you still have to obey all the same laws as any car
HumanWiki 8
Cyclists in Chicago deserve to get run over. Most feel they own the road and rarely obey the laws. I smile every time I read about one getting hit.
Krystallkitty13 1
Everything went better than expected?