Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML
Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML
Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML
Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML
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Top comments
AlwayzCelly 13
What a jerk, it was obviously an accident, at least you tried to help him
MysticMonkey 9
At least you went to check on him instead of driving off like so many people have done :)
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Comments (125)
Kristoffer 35
Wouldn't that make the cyclist guilty of hit-and-run?
tjshatescra 8
Although it was terrible that you hit a cyclist, it was an accident. And they probably should be riding where the could possibly get hit...but you did the right thing by stopping. So FYL
Brock_Dudeson 11
Anyone else think some cyclists are the biggest pricks (not all cyclists just some)
hannahsnyder69 16
That's the best comeback I've ever heard.
thatbaybay 8
Be glad he was okay cause that could've ended badly for the both of you
D3ATHZ3RO 15
He deserved it, cyclists are assholes FYL OP
Wealthyparrot 9
What a douche.
Sputnikspak 13
Hope he was wearing a helmet.
little_one 20
Studies have shown drivers are more careful around cyclists not wearing a helmet, giving them more room when driving around them.
doodlecloud 27
I've read about that study too. Doesn't mean you shouldn't wear a helmet though. When my dad hit his head on the road his helmet was shattered. I'd hate to think what would have happened had he not been wearing one. It's just not worth the risk. And, in that instance the helmet wouldn't have affected the likelihood of the accident - it was a woman in a parked car opening her door into the road - she didn't even see him until he went over the top of her door.
MysticMonkey 9
Don't get why i was thumbed down. I've been a pokemon fan since the beginning
Hitokiri 9
Da *** is wrong with cyclists? Here in Chile fukin cyclists think they're elite or something, forget about road rage drivers. Cyclists are much worse.