Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML
Today, I was at the store when I ran into an old friend from high school. He didn't recognize me at first, but when I told him who I was, he instantly shouted "Oh! Yeah! The fat chick from Mr. H's class!" FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, my 11-year-old son and I were going through some old photos. He saw one of me when I was 22 on a beach, wearing a bikini. He said "Wow! Who's that?" Quite proudly I said it was me. He looked at me and said "What happened?" FML
Today, I was at my usual grocery store when an elderly lady smiled at me and said, "It's so nice to see a young person not obsessed with their appearance." I was dressed in sweats, I hadn't showered, and hadn't brushed my hair. I’m not sure if I should be flattered or insulted. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML
Today, I visited a waterpark with friends. At one point, a woman floating near me suddenly says to me, "How are you doing, honey?" Instinctively, I replied, "I'm well". The woman gave me a strange look and I turned around to find she was talking to her child directly behind me. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML
Today, I went to the grocery store and saw a guy I thought I recognized. I walked up to him and said, “Hey, are you so-and-so from high school?” He looked at me blankly and said, “Nope, don’t know you.” To cover up my embarrassment, I blurted out, “Well, you should! I was the funniest person in our class!” He stared at me for a second before replying, “OK, I’m calling security.” FML
Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
He was only used to seeing you for a breaststroke. I take it his wife took this news less than swimmingly. In that case he will have to go freestyle if he doesn't want to end up in deep water.
UnidentifiedFun 37
Props to him for excellent word choice.
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Comments (86)
LemonandLime 13
Surprise? Envy? Joy? Happiness? What was the look on her face? So many possibilities.
PipingMouse 14
She probably has her own hot pool boy in her elderly swimming class.
shelbyj 6
Jealousy... Who knows is right
kristabelli 19
Best FML ever! Lmao!
anythingmustbe 18
I guess your in hot water.
UnidentifiedFun 37
You're*
stariee1997 16
There's a reason your fun isn't identified.
anythingmustbe 18
Yeah I realised my mistake to late. I tried to edit it but ran out of time:P O well next time.
Pleonasm 36
I can't believe they made the same mistake twice in two posts saying pretty much the same thing...
DocBastard 40
too* late Come on, now! Is grammar REALLY so difficult?
UnidentifiedFun 37
Oh* well,
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
2- just ignore these assholes. apparently they have nothing better to do then make fun of someone off of the internet.. grammer isn't everyone's cup of tea so just blow them off and go back to your day! :)
lulubelles 33
*grammar. Apparently spelling isn't your cup of tea.
Axipiter 24
44, were both your errors intentional? Or just one?
LemonandLime 13
*you're
anythingmustbe 18
You're right (got it this time) I made two mistakes in a row but no one is perfect. I am honored you all felt the need to correct me.
rangerPat 12
44, first off I believe they are mocking him while he is ON the Internet.... Secondly, the ability to convey your thoughts and statements into legible WORDS for people to read earns respect. If everyone took your standpoint with respect to the importance of grammar and proper spelling, mankind would be illiterate morons within decades.
vanessa09865 23
pretty sure the stereotypical American already is #66
UnidentifiedFun 37
Props to him for excellent word choice.
wlddog 14
I am sure he will explain everything to his wife by telling her its all on te up and up. You were simply teaching him the breast stroke.
Pleonasm 36
He was only used to seeing you for a breaststroke. I take it his wife took this news less than swimmingly. In that case he will have to go freestyle if he doesn't want to end up in deep water.
teddy4nyy 13
You're just fishing for puns there, buddy. Don't worry OP, he's just carping you.
Seayah 4
That was rather shallow of you #15.
dashizam 10
I'm wondering, Pleonasm, have you ever read those books by Piers Anthony that are made entirely of puns?*apologizing for randomness and acknowledging probability of being down-thumbed*
Pleonasm 36
No, I've never heard of Piers Anthony, but it sounds like a novel idea to make a book entirely out of puns.
tommyfox 19
Maybe his wife will realize that he was just being a social butterfly.
Bubbelz 25
65 Are you high?
DracoSpirita 21
Are those the the Xanth novels? I haven't read those in years... I do remember the pecan pie was a pie with a can full of pee in it...
stargazur 9
Pleonasm, you sir are a true gentile man from profile picture, to proper punctuation.
posko 15
You should've said something like "same to you, handsome"
posko 15
I am very sorry for that horrible comment. I will now leave the Internet.
Mister_Triangle 21
At least you learned your lesson.
PipingMouse 14
Aww it wasn't that bad to me... (braces for down-votes in my shelter)
Neyuu 18
Is it bad that I laughed? Will one of you kind folks donate a good sense of humor to me?
yoloswagg54 9
That's hysterical.
THuD29 4
Almost as hysterical as your username
oj101 33
Uh oh, it looks like he'll sink into some deep trouble with his wife.
rydin10 18
Well then it's a good thing he's taking swimming classes
anythingmustbe 18
I guess your in deep water. Her head must be swimming with angry thoughts. Just explain it to her and I am sure she will cool down. It will soon be water under the bridge.
Brool_Story_Co 17
I guess if your first comment gets thumbed down, you better try again with more lame puns and with the same grammatical errors, that will fix everything.
FelicityWishes 32
Oh, I wish I saw her face! Priceless!
PipingMouse 14
Having a swimming class with a hot instructor - 50$ Going to the store with your wife (where you know she works) - 100$ Seeing your wife's face after that comment- Priceless!
upyourzlolz 11
Since when is a trip to Wal-Mart a hundred dollars?
emag_eht 18
Maybe they're making a big purchase? Walmart may be cheap (from what I've heard) but that doesn't mean you can't spend $100+ in one go especially if you're having a party.
Jemm_fml 29
Whoopsiedaisie!