Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML
Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML
Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML
Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML
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Top comments
AlwayzCelly 13
What a jerk, it was obviously an accident, at least you tried to help him
MysticMonkey 9
At least you went to check on him instead of driving off like so many people have done :)
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Comments (125)
onorexveritas 24
assholes like that, unfortunately do not die easily
nbandofbrothers 10
If I thought he was dead I wouldn't get out of the car. I would drive as far away as possible from him.
STORMLOVER22 5
The guy must have thought you needed a lesson even though you DID NOT
doodlecloud 27
74 - Let's be clear - there are both good and bad cyclists and drivers. We can't know whose fault the accident was - it could've been OP's, the cyclist's, both of theirs' or just a freak accident. I get your anger at drivers but it goes both ways and claiming you'd punch OP even when it COULD have totally been the cyclist's fault is a pretty jerk thing to do too. All we know is that OP had the decency to make sure he was okay (which should be the norm but is unfortunately becoming more uncommon) and so, for that, I respect him and 10's comment.
yrue82 7
I'm sorry OP, at least you were Not that one girl that hit a guy on his bike because he was in her way
TogeBara 12
If OP had actually injured the guy, you would all be calling out how OP deserved it for not paying attention. Maybe this will teach OP a lesson in how to freaking drive. YDI for hitting the man in the first place. If you had hit me I'd be rolling around on the ground screaming "OW MY LAWSUIT!"
Fuhkyoo 17
thats exactly what I was thinking, op is very lucky that the cyclist was a mischevious lil ******, otherwise chances are he wouldve been getting a subpoena in the mail
Ins0mau 20
You don't know the circumstances. The cyclist could have run a red light or pulled out from nowhere for all you know.
worldclassrager 41
You went to check on him that's the good thing...what he did back to you was the bad thing...
picturescrazy 24
A punch to the face is better than having him call the police to report you for hitting a cyclist. You are still at fault, even if it was an accident. I'm just glad to hear the cyclist was okay and hopefully scared you enough into paying more attention.
ColbyGB 13
He handled the situation in the most straightforward way possible, with a punch to the face, kudos!
mattlw 25
That was epic. FYL. I can't believe he punched you in the face. The scaring you making you think he was dead was probably bad enough. What an ass hole!