Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML
Today, I used the Print Screen button to take a picture of a really cute bag that I want for my birthday. After emailing it to my mom, I noticed I'd forgotten to close another tab in the browser. The tab had a very suggestive title, for an even more suggestive website. FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML
Today, my mother bitched at me for spending $200 on a new clothes I needed for my new job as a bank teller. I then received a notification on my phone that my mother's lingerie order was shipped. She spent $800 on teddies and crotchless panties. FML
Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML
Today, I found out my mom can't wait until I turn 18, so she can kick me out and turn my room into a huge closet for all her clothes. FML
Today, I was showing my mum how to use eBay. Unfortunately I didn't notice my recent purchase history was on display: a huge black dildo, a jockstrap, and a bong amongst them. Of course, she did. FML
Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
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Top comments
YacL 15
You should've been like "I want that for my b-day, too".
honeylol 0
Ouch, that would suck,
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Comments (223)
honeylol 0
Ouch, that would suck,
riceicle1 6
I don't think she was sucking...
slantyshanty 7
"Lets get things straight here we're talking about some D's in some A's." -Dirty mike and the boys
hersactually 0
Aw honeylol, your cat is really cute!
TookaWooka666 0
Rofl 29, "We got a jar of old mustard, and a poodle and we're gonna put some Ds in some As." The Other Guys is awesome.
zendaddy0 0
wow you REALLY need to improve the wording on this
zendaddy0 0
wow you REALLY need to improve the wording on this
xalerion 0
sucks op
xalerion 0
sirin, how would I go about asking a mod a question from an iPod touch because I tried to find a way and couldn't. I don't have access to a comp and I was wondering how long after a fml has been posted the ability to comment on it is lost or, if it is not time related, for what reasons
sterlingarcher 1
haha wow..
Sirin_fml 47
You can send me a PM via the website, or if you like, you can send an email to [email protected].
Anyoniemous 0
OMG SIRIN!!!!! :D
LaylaaMariee 0
WTF?
PurpleRae420 0
WOOOOOW YDI for that after you watch **** DELETE THE WINDOW AAAAAND YOUR HISTORY DUH lol your fault you deserved that and on your birthday too that makes it even more funny
pertained 12
Lmao for a minute I read the FML and thought OPs mum was the one howling out in pleasure, I was like wtf? o.o
example947 0
dirty mike and the boys XD
zojieeu 6
haha I did that once, and the situation was really awkward :(
garzanic000 0
116- I thought the same
TheFuckerofShit 16
Latinas are awesome.
mzeemzima 0
it's legal tho ur 18 she ain't got nothin on you
rubberduckie94 13
thats what i was gonna ask him. LOL. Because if my son did a did a dumbass thing like this i would be laugjing so harx
samuel18 0
that's hot
awesomeooo3 0
That's embarrassing! Hahaha. I always open my laptop before showing someone something, just in case I left when I was stalking someone in Facebook haha (admit it, you all do it!).
Alleged_Cranium 7
My cat's breath smells like cat food. - Ralph Wiggum
jennifer93 0
why did you put a pile of crap beside your comment? omg i have symbols too :p
SoccerBitch113 0
45 win hahaha
babyjm 0
cuz it was called "latina BOOTY" what else comes out of your "Booty"??
spearhead 5
have I seen that video?? :3
musicbunny 1
93- his name is mr hankee and I do too!
jimboner69 6
©®™
MatthewDmerrill 5
all the time!
ubetrwatchBN 5
45 - "I ated the purple berries....they taste like burning."
igotnolegs 1
"howling screams of pleasure" - classic stuff :D
chickunkey 0
dicks apparently!
Cereal_Is_Good 5
Dicks come OUT of your ass? Stop eating whatever you've been eating.
DropDead77 11
smooth
ImaWiseGuy 5
hopefully your mom didn't buy you Latin booty pornos after that...
EverybodyHatesCh 0
lol imagine that!!! -mon: sooo... that's what you want?? hmm?? (*goes to store and buys big Latina booty DVDs*)
chuymac 3
hahaha, my stomach hurts I been having like a mofo.
EatnBeef 7
girls watch ****?!
hisgirlherboy 5
no stupid it's a boy! boys can get clothes to how els would they not be naked?
YacL 15
Girls watch ****, they just don't have balls to admit to it.
EatnBeef 7
I see what you did there
ImInHawaiiBITCH 0
don happy birthday, that birthday money is now going for an all boys college!!!!! lol
HeyBabez 0
lol faggit
Death1000127b 6
You are a win!
HeyBabez 0
hahah boggest fag
YacL 15
You should've been like "I want that for my b-day, too".
theHAMF 0
hahahaha
soocrazyy 0
nice.
FreebirdIII 1
I hope it's not the "fat one"
HeavyMetalViking 0
If he was shopping for clothes online, he's definitely hoping to get the fat one.
ashseal 11
your awesomeee.!
cybRuser 16
oh LOLOL
carolinaliar16 0
talk about aaawkwaaaarrdd.
jbluebird923 0
this is probably the awkward(est) FML I've ever read
DjeePee 25
Ow great, now there is an app right there to 'increase sexual desire'. Brilliant. So, OP, you are a guy and you show your mother the clothes you want to buy? Well, it's something different than games or booze, I guess. Nothing wrong with being a fashionfreak. But YTDI for not closing your ****. It's also so damn funny that you think her screams were of pleasure. I bet you're the kind of guy who would not notice it if his girlfriend was completely faking her moans and orgasms.
kindlystfupls 0
uh pretty sure the howling screams of pleasure were from the **** and not his mom.
DjeePee 25
Oh come on, comprehensive reading is not that difficult. Where do you read that the screams were of his mom? Not in my comment, that's for sure. But, to make sure you would understand, I will rephrase it: 'It's also so damn funny that you think the pornstar's screams were of pleasure. I bet you're the kind of guy who would not notice it if his girlfriend was completely faking her moans and orgasms.'
ishmail2000 4
Faked or not, it's still meant to be a scream of pleasure. What kind of **** do you watch where people scream of pain? Chill out, kid.
rawr9able 4
BDSM, sadistic masochistic. Pain, nom nom.
DjeePee 25
'Faked or not, it's still meant to be a scream of pleasure. What kind of **** do you watch where people scream of pain? Chill out, kid.' You said it yourself, it is meant (!) to be a scream of pleasure. It's been a while, but if I watch ****, the first thing I check is the look in the eyes of the woman. You can scream 'of pleasure' while being totally bored. I have also hear pornstars scream 'of pleasure' whilst having anal sex. Faking pleasure does not count as being pleasured. And to me, it seems that OP isn't aware of that.
denbeste 3
DjPee is beating everyone. Keep it up.
Cupcaken 0
jeez, OP was just trying to make the FML a little bit more funny and well described. No need to go analyse and bust every word.
Aoifexzx 3
#48 You spelt his Djeepee wrong, be careful he will probably bash you for that as well.
rawr9able 4
59, you got her gender wrong, run while you can. DjeePee, I found your comments amusing, please do continue. :P
VorpikeII 17
ya, we still haven't established whether OP is male or female, does anyone know?
sematariux 7
I don't see why you gotta bust ops balls so bad
DjeePee 25
Whoa whoa, you think I'm a guy? That's so cool! Now I only need to find someone who can made me a sammich... I realised a couple of minutes ago that maybe I was acting too serious. So, sorry guys, I didn't meant to start a flamewar, or a cripple fight. Glad that some of you enjoyed my comments, but I will silently disappear from this FML. Here are my last words: number 75, scroll to the FML and read the gender. You can establish it yourself.
8rabido8 11
well thats creepy...
Beck2209 0
TLDR
amadan 0
I think he meant the Latino girls screaming haha. Either way this sucks
dcam13 19
"You said it yourself, it is meant (!) to be a scream of pleasure. It's been a while, but if I watch ****, the first thing I check is the look in the eyes of the woman. You can scream 'of pleasure' while being totally bored. I have also hear pornstars scream 'of pleasure' whilst having anal sex. Faking pleasure does not count as being pleasured. And to me, it seems that OP isn't aware of that." 43, that's the first thing i do watch when i watch **** too. i just look in their eyes to see if they're enjoying themselves... lollllllll
jackiemoonthepro 5
no shit sherlock
FTW_yourstruly_r 0
Retard
LilTiki559 13
haha, 56, you said anal and bust:p..
hahafylop 4
Dang 193, I was seriously just about to say that!
Konarika 11
...some girls also watch ****?
joshosh420 2
coulda been worse. it coulda been two dudes
chickenfriedCG 0
or extremely fat chicks wrestling...